Tag: Links

Must Find Happy Place

Nothing seems to be going right lately.  The things that normally bring joy to my life have disappeared or are disappearing.  It’s hard to wake up in the morning when you don’t have a lot to look forward to.  The only thing I have currently that brings some potential light at the end of the tunnel are my classes.

Education is sought after more than skills at this point.  At least in my experience.  I learned this the hard way and it’s really doing a number on me.  There was an opening at my job in Technology Services at the Kelley School of Business.  It’s almost exactly what I do, with a few other added responsibilities.  I’ve been here just one month shy of a year now and I thought I would be a good fit.  The only caveat, they wanted someone with at least an associates degree which I do not have.

They must have thought I was a good fit as well, because I almost immediately was asked for an interview.  It went extremely well.  I thought it was only a matter of time before the job would be offered to me.  Then my boss’s boss wanted to speak with me, it was regarding the position.  They offered it to someone who had “more rounded experience.”  They said she “can give a different perspective that nobody else in the department can.”  While I understand they have to do what’s best for the department and not myself, it didn’t hit me until today – the day she started.

There is really nothing I can do to make myself happy but continue my education and hope to find something someday.  The only real issue bugging me is that I know that day won’t come soon enough.

This on top of all of the other issues I’m facing.  I need a new computer & printer, I am on a deadline for remodeling the basement and old “office.”  I need to start planning a summer job or load up on classes for the summer semester and get a large student loan to cover the lack of income.

I feel like I haven’t moved forward at all, but just taken a few dozen steps back since I started on my own back in 1999.

My only solace at this point is my love affair with ROX and computers in general.  The computer doesn’t care about how much money I make or any of the other human conditions.

If only life were this simple.

So Far…

So far my classes at Ivy Tech Community College have went well.  There have been a few glitches, which I will explain further, but overall it has been a good experience for a change.  This has been the typical time frame where I “fly the coop.”

My math course, MATH-050 (Basic Algebra) is quite boring.  My skills lie between this course and the course between it (MATH-111 [Intermediate Algebra]).  My instructor is also the head of the department that deals with disability issues and I think it spills over into her teaching style.  While I do not have any learning disabilities I can see how this style can help those who need it.  The rest of us feel like we’re in grade school.  One thing that I have issues with is some of the coursework.  She has assigned us to “write 5 things from” a book, “Managing the Mean Math Blues” and two videos.  All of these focus on one  main thing, study skills.  It seems a little off for a math course to assign reading material not directly related to the course itself.

My Visual Basic Course, CINS-113 (Logic, Design and Programming) has been going great!  I enjoy the instructor and the coursework.  My only concern is that the instructor does not write the tests, the head of the department does.  The tests are based solely on the book and not what we speak about in class.  While I am reading the book, it is impossible to remember all the terms and items needed.

I’m hoping to not work this summer and load up on courses so that I can hopefully finish this degree a little sooner.

Ban the Ban

Today on the Herald-Times website there has been a serious discussion regarding IU’s smoking ban which went into effect last January.  It started with a reporter searching the campus for smokers and placing updates on their website, she then spoke with administrators and wrote a full article.

The ban has not been enforced in any way, and as a smoker it bothers me on fundamental levels.  As an employee I could be terminated for violating this policy (which I try very carefully not to), while students face very slight (if any) consequences.

In my opinion, this smoking ban is going to be just like the ban on alcohol on IU’s campus, not spoken about.  I was blown away to actually find out that alcohol is actually permitted on campus for university events if students or others under the age of 21 are not going to be in attendance.

The online discussion on the Herald-Times website opened my eyes up to a few things that I hadn’t known before, and I thought I would pass those along to everyone out there.

All of these “smoking bans” that we see today can trace their roots back to 1930’s Germany.  Read here for more information.  It’s really shocking to me, and confirms my ideas about the subject since day one.

Did you know that over a lifetime, medical costs for obese and average people are more than that of smokers?  Read here for the article.  This information “threw a bucket of cold water” into what everyone thought.  I’m a firm believer that we have been sold on the idea that smoking is “more” unhealthy than it really is.  I’m not trying to say that there are no health risks – I’m just saying as a country I think we’ve been duped.

These two articles really opened my eyes regarding this issue that has been raging in this town for almost 15 years now.

I have been a smoker for more than half of my 28 years on this earth.  I know it’s not the healthiest of things to do, but I do it anyway.  I’ve taken chantix, nicoderm and the commit lozenges to try to quit.  The reason I have not succeeded in quitting is because smoking is part of who I am.  Without it I do not feel like myself, while that is “normal,” I don’t like feeling that way.

While I know it is a chemical addiction just like drugs and alcohol are, that does not bother me.  I have other addictions that I think are worse.  To name one, it’s my endless addiction to technology.

That’s a whole other story that I’ll leave for another time.

Cutting Costs

This market has been bad on my personal and professional life.  My business has run out of money and I am being forced to cut all costs where possible.

I have been on the fence about this, but I think I am going to end hosting my website online.  At $60 a year, it isn’t that bad really for what I get.  I would rather pay for it out of my own personal money to keep it going, but I need to really start separating my business and personal expenses.

I have only really found 1 client due to my website.  While that client was a large one, with almost 50 transfers, but it hasn’t really been a big income maker in the long run.

Since I am going back to school and trying to focus on other projects more, I don’t think it’s completely necessary to have a website.  Most of my clients are referred by word of mouth.  It will just feel weird to not have a @lmlvideoservices.com email address anymore.  I try to be as “official” as possible, and I think that in itself gives me a touch of professionalism.

I think once I have a better website designed, and enough money in the bank I will re-start lmlvideoservices.com.  It just doesn’t seem feasible at this moment to keep it.

I want to make it clear that I am not “giving up,” I am just closing my website.  I will still be working on ROX, and transferring all kinds of media to current (and future) formats.  I will probably list updates on this blog from now on.

In an odd note, I got a job copying DVDs for a faculty member here at the Kelley School of Business.  He came to the TS department to have DVDs copied, but he needed more than our policy allows.  With permission from my boss, I was able to offer my services – as long as I offered an alternative, such as another department within IU.

He accepted my offer, and I should be finished tomorrow.

Pre-Occupied

Lately I have been pre-occupied with many things, which have diverted my attention away from accomplishing a single task.  So I’m going to merely list some updates as to what’s been going on since I last posted.

Hope is in sight:  My truck is still broken.  We got a deal on a complete fuel pump assembly on eBay.  It’s brand new and OEM, so I’m not too concerned about it working.  Last Saturday I tried to install it, but this job is meant for someone who either works on vehicles all the time, or has power tools.  Since I am neither, I couldn’t do the job.  My dad called last night and my step-uncle agreed to do it for me.  My dad is having it towed to his house today and I anticipate it being completed before any bad snowfalls occur.

Family Memories:  My mother-in-law gave us some priceless family photos to scan into the computer.  Some dating back to 1906!  I’m not sure if she knew it, but many of these “old” photos were actually scanned and printed out by someone already.  Who that is I don’t know.  Some of these pictures need some help, as they have cracks on them or have pieces ripped off.  I hope to sharpen up my photoshop skillz and fix ’em. 

There are several “cards” which I find quite moving.  They are what I would call “death memorial” cards.  They were given out (by the church?) when someone died.  My wifes’ family is from Dubois county, which is rich with German heritage.  This card is written in German and Latin.  I find the artwork on the back quite moving.  What do you think?

Music, Music, Music:  I finally caved and bought an iPod.  I refuse to pay retail for one, so I went second hand on eBay.  I got a nice 30gb model, which is big enough for what I need.  I didn’t buy this iPod for personal entertainment, but to convert all of our CD’s into electronic media.  This way we can get rid of the enormous space they take up.  Once everything is done, we’re going to put them into storage.

I have imported them all into iTunes and discovered one interesting thing.  CD’s over time, with scratches and other defects can sound like old LP’s.  Some of the tracks I have imported have that “scratchy” sound made infamous by LP’s.  Now I have a monumental task of going through roughly 2500 songs and re-importing the ones whose quality doesn’t meet my standards…ugh

Once all is complete, I won’t be lugging any CD’s on trips anymore.  Just an iPod and a FM transmitter/docking station.  It’s a dream come true.

Continue reading “Pre-Occupied”

Down and Out, For Now

Sunday as Rachel, Taylor and I were heading to my grandma’s for some delicious vegetable soup, my truck died.  I was able to get it re-started to get it turned around and on the way back to our home.  It stopped about 50 feet shy of our driveway, and in the middle of our road.  We tried to push, but it wouldn’t budge.

An argument ensued, and I decided we leave it there for the moment and enjoy some soup to warm our souls.  We would return to move the truck soon enough.

When we returned, we couldn’t get the truck out of Park.  It just wouldn’t budge.  I don’t believe it’s my ignition switch again, cause we can crank the truck and the steering wheel isn’t locked up.

All in all, there are 2 problems affecting my truck that if taken to a shop will cost around $1,000 to fix.  My fuel pump has bit the dust, and some safety device which prevents the transmission from coming out of Park.

With the help of my neighbor Bill, I removed the drive shaft and we pulled my truck with Rachel’s Kia.

I can save myself about $600 by installing the fuel pump myself.  There are many “ifs” in this situation though.  I’ve never replaced one before, the weather is not conducive to working in the cold, did I mention it’s cold?

Rachel wants to just get rid of the truck, but it’s imperitive that we have a second mode of transportation.  Should I get a job somewhere not on the IU campus, I will need a way to get there.

With the trucks’ current condition, we would have to give it away.  Something I’m not willing to do.

I hope the truck isn’t still broken down by the time we need it, such as 6+ inches of snow.

Scanning The Past

In the 90’s I was a big country music fan.  My love of this particular genre of music brought me to a vicarious situation in 1998.

My girlfriend at the time and I went to see Garth Brooks at Freedom Hall in Louisville, KY.  We got the tickets extremely cheap ($36 each).  They were almost the best seats in the house, 3rd row center.  If it weren’t for the drunk girl in front of us who lost her bladder control and the crazy guy with his extremely large cowboy hat, I think it would have been an amazing concert.

But the story only begins here.  While leaving the concert that night, I had a seizure while trying to merge into another lane of traffic to leave the parking lot.  Most of what I remember after that is quite hazy to this day.  I do remember several specific things though.  I came to in an ambulance in the parking lot, after leaving an area hospital we arrived by cab back to my truck.  I then had my unlicensed girlfriend drive us back home.

She didn’t know how to get back home, so I set her on a path and napped while I could.  When we got onto Highway 37 I told her to, “stay on this highway.”  Needless to say I woke up and saw Bedford Junior High School and she had a puzzled look on her face, not knowing where she was.

If you can imagine, this is the memory from just one night.  Imagine the memories I have held within the 500+ 35mm negatives I just finished scanning for my mother.  I recently asked her for the negatives and pictures from that night in question, as I have a blown up picture of the concert.  It is damaged and I want to replace it, but with a good quality piece.

Instead of just giving me what I had asked for, she gave me everything she has.  My mother hasn’t made the switch to a digital camera yet, she prefers a disposable 35mm for now.

To some people what I’ve done is just a waste of time, but to me I’ve just preserved the memories of an awkward time of my life.  It covers a time span of about 3 years, 1994 – 1997.

Once I’m done cropping and restoring I’m going to burn these to a DVD for my mother to keep.  I’ll keep what I want and  upload them to flickr.

6 Weeks

For the last 6 weeks, my main computer has been broken.  In that time, I think I have spent a lot more time with my wife than normal.  It has been a good thing, but we do spend entirely way too much time together.

I finally got my computer fully running last night, and what a mess that has been.  Let me outline what happened:

My motherboard crapped out – cooling fans failed leaving too much heat inside the case, a few capacitors failed.

While in the shop; power supply failed – still under warranty, they had to send it to the manufacturer and wait for another to come in – this in itself took 4 weeks.

Main hard drive failed – When I finally got the computer back, my main drive with all music and pictures crapped out.  I couldn’t access it.  Took it in and they were able to recover the data.  The drive still works and is in use now.  Nobody knows what happened exactly.

Then starts the issues I had to deal with once I got the machine back:

This new motherboard an ASUS model A8V-X would not recognize one set of IDE devices I had connected.  No matter which port.  I finally found out that both items were jumper-ed to be master devices, moving the jumpers to “cable select” fixed this issue.

My SATA drive, which is 500gigs seemed to be invisible to this system.  It would recognize it in the BIOS, but not in Windows.  When I looked further I saw that many people have had this same problem with ASUS motherboards.

It seems that ASUS has taken the cheap approach to using new technologies.  There is no SATA controller, it has been combined into the IDE controller.  The BIOS sees all SATA devices as IDE devices.  If you’re trying to use a SATA-II device, you’re out of luck.  This is what I was originally trying to do, and the system would hang at boot and if I enabled it in Windows, the system would freeze.

All documentation states that this is SATA-II compatible, but it isn’t.  I had to “jumper” the drive to change it to a SATA-I device.

Needless to say, I’m never buying an ASUS product again.  The only reason I strayed from Gigabyte, who made the motherboards on every computer I’ve had is because I couldn’t get another one for my AMD socket 939 processor.

I have one other problem to contend with, I’m getting some sort of interference in my sound card.  It comes out whenever my processor is performing tasks.  A minor problem, but still it’s an issue.

I have been working diligently to get everything back on my computer, but it will take me some time (about a week) to get everything back to the way it used to be.

Happy 200th! Not.

On a weird statistical note, this is my 200th post to this blog.  I really thought I had written more than that, but not.

The troubling part is the reason why I’m writing this entry.  Rachel and I have been trying to be closer, as we’ve been going through a spell where we are more like roomies than spouses.  It’s really bugged me, and I think it has bugged her too.  We have made some strides in our relationship, but as my dad famously says “almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”

I’ve been having some serious problems in the intimate department of our relationship.  It’s not that I don’t desire my wife anymore, I just can’t perform.  Basically at all.  It makes it hard to be close (in that way) when you know you don’t even have a chance to perform the duties you were designed to do.

I had my yearly appointment with my neurologist this week and I asked him several questions about possible side effects of the two anti-convulsant medications I take, Keppra and Carbatrol.  He told me that those two medications do indeed have sexual side effects and almost instantly offered to prescribe me my pick of something for “ED.”

It was almost like a knee-jerk reaction, and it kind of scared me.  I guess his adrenaline levels finally got in check and he ordered some labs for me.  Mainly my testosterone and thyroid levels.

I found out today that my testosterone levels are, “extremely low for a person of my age” according to my neurologist.  This has put me into a tailspin of feelings and emotions regarding my health.

Should a otherwise healthy 28 year old be taking Viagra?  It’s excluded by my insurance, which makes it almost non reachable financially.  I called the pharmacy to see what the cost of this would be, $144 for 12 pills.  With all of lifes’ expenses, this is one we can do without.

I then called to make an appointment with my General Physician, Dr. Bannec.  He’s a great guy, and I’ve seen him since I was 17.  Hopefully he knows of or can find a better financially suited treatment for me than these $12 a shot “happy pills.”

I’m not complaining about my neurologist as this isn’t really his field.  I’m actually happy he ordered the lab work so we could find the root of the problem.

I just hope life, especially my intimate life can get back to normal as soon as possible.

Squeeky Clean

This weekend Rachel and I cleaned our vehicles.  The weather was beautiful, and the vehicles were begging for it.

As a teenager I detailed various automobiles professionally for Royal on the Eastside.  The highlight of my career was when I detailed Bobby Knight’s car.  The exciting part was delivering the keys to him.  I had to interrupt an IU basketball practice session.

Back to the point.  Neither of us had waxed our vehicles for at least 3 years, and it was really showing.  I used to be very anal about the amount of wax (minimum of 2 coats).  I would spend a few hours every weekend maintaining the appearance of my ride.

As you can see, my truck has a big problem on the hood.  It’s a common problem with GM vehicles actually.  All in all I think it still shines pretty good for an 11 year old vehicle.

Rachel’s little Rio is clean and happy.  This car takes the brunt of our transportation needs.  Since we carpool, we take her car.  It gets great gas mileage, and you can put that car just about anywhere!  We’ve been talking recently about trading the Rio in on something more suited for our needs.

I plan on keeping my truck until it’s wheels fall off.  It’s good to have “the old standby” around, just in case you need a second vehicle.  Plus it helps with some of the hauling tasks required of a homeowner.

While my truck isn’t the most eco-friendly vehicle, it is only driven an average of 8k miles a year.  It also helps with getting around in the sometimes treacherous winters.