Month: April 2024

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For the past two weeks I have kept going back to this Taylor Swift song.

The key part being this verse:
“I should not be left to my own devices
They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving
‘Cause you got tired of my scheming”

On Sunday April 7th, 2024 my fiancée and partner of almost 8 years left me. She’s cited various reasons that I won’t be listing here.

Just to restate some lyrics from that song, “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me
At tea time, everybody agrees.”

I’m not writing this for sympathy. I’m not writing this as a victim of loss. I’m writing this to get public thoughts out.

I have a problem listening to those I love. Especially those called “the love of my life.” I failed to respect her feelings, losing her heart, soul, and love. Our friendship got lost along the way, and I feel that played a major role in her decision to leave.

I must and will better myself, and for myself. I will be seeing a counselor very soon. I am working on resolving my longstanding back issues. I am going to the gym and doing my best to lead an active lifestyle compared to how my life has been over the last three years. I’m reading like I never have before, trying to improve myself and to learn more about why things went how they did so I may avoid this ever happening in the future.

I am using my support network and creating new connections and looking forward. Life is a hard mix of optimism and sadness. Like many things however, this too shall pass.

Niagara Falls Redux

Last week was Amelia’s spring break. I decided to take her on a trip I took her mother on many years ago. To the great white north! And white it was, the ground was covered with snow when we got there and the temps were in the 30’s.

We stayed 2 days on the New York Side, 2 days on the Canadian side, and then made our way to Dearborn Michigan, where we went to The Henry Ford Museum and Rouge Factory Tour. Something my uncle was going to go with us to, but unfortunately passed away before we were able to. He was with us in spirit.

While in New York, we went to Highmark Stadium, The Aquarium of Niagara and The Martin House, a Frank Lloyd Wright prairie style home.

It was the most boring FLW home I’ve toured, minus one detail. A sculpture in the conservatory. Which I purchased a smaller version of. Her mom and I went to many FLW homes, including Fallingwater and were foundation members for a few years.

The view from our hotel room in Canada was glorious. Making it not needed to do many things along the gorge that most do.

We did go to the Journey Behind the Falls experience, something her mom and I also did.

While there, I had to pickup some Cuban cigars. Something that was strictly not allowed during my first visit. I must say, they are the best tasting cigars I’ve ever had in my life. Well worth the price.

I’m quickly running out of these “take her on trips I took her mom on” trips. There’s only 1 left, and that is Fallingwater & the Flight 93 memorial. I hope Amelia is able to look back on these experiences with just me and appreciate them as she becomes an adult.