Upgrade Complete

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I’ve written about my health issues.  Today I had surgery to replace the battery on my Vagus Nerve Stimulator.  It’s primary function is to control my epilepsy, and has been the only thing that has kept my seizures under control.

This is the 3rd time I’ve had this surgery, as the batteries last on average between 5 and 7 years.  The surgery went better than I had expected it to.  I actually woke up from anesthesia this time without any issues, which surprises me.  I really like the stuff.  The biggest difference is that they did not suture me this time, and instead used derma bond, which is essentially superglue.  I have basically no pain.

The model I now have is upgraded.  It has on board diagnostics and even monitors my heart rate and activates automatically if a seizure is detected.

By textbook terminology, I am a cyborg because of this implant.

Out of Shape

Since I’ve gotten married my weight has risen to a plateau of 275 pounds.  It’s amazing how you don’t notice these things until they creep up on you.
Lately my back has been hurting when I do anything but sit.  I’m also sure one of the reasons why I’m tired all the time is primarily due to the extra weight I’m carrying around.  I know I don’t have anyone to blame but myself, but the last several months have been exhausting due to our ever growing child.

I believe my “six pack protector” is mainly to blame for my back problems.  This time I’m not going to complain, I’m going to do something about it!  Last winter we bought a Nintendo Wii and Wii Active, a workout program.  While it’s not as effective as a real workout at a gym, I believe it will get me on the right track.

I started working out last night, and from that I can tell you for sure that I’m out of shape.  I tried the “easy 30 minute” routine, and my body gave out after half of the workout.  I’m still sore this morning.

I plan on giving my body a day of rest between workouts to help facilitate getting back to a healthy weight.  I hope this can be an inspiration to my wife as well.

For the last year or so, my oldest daughter has become somewhat of a couch potato (much like her father).  I want her and Amelia to know that when you do that there are consequences.  Had I kept a normal workout routine, or a more physical lifestyle I wouldn’t be in so much pain.

I hope this shows them that it pays to be active now instead of later.

Down With the Sickness

Life lately in the Lawmaster household has been anything but fun as of recent.  We all came down with forms of the same sickness.  Fortunately we have all recovered.

Originally I thought it was a new recipe that Rachel had tried, Baked chicken thighs with brown sugar.  I think it really might have been part of a larger sickness going around our area.

Little Amelia saw the effects first.  She spit up ( or should I say threw up) almost half of a couple of her bottles, was warm and somewhat fussy for a day.  Some children’s Tylenol made her much better.

Rachel saw her effects span over a two day period.  It started with nausea and diahhrea on the first day and ended with body aches, fever and a general not feeling well on the second day.  She felt much better after a day of rest.

My case became overly complex and is becoming a nightmare in process.  I woke up on the same day that Rachel’s symptoms started feeling the same nausea and diahhrea, but with the addition of severe body aches.

I didn’t have to be at work until noon, so I thought I would sleep in the Kelley School of Business changing rooms – a place I often nap in during lunch.  The 3 hour nap helped me tremendously, but didn’t get rid of the severe body aches that made even walking a nightmare.

Due to the strict attendance policies in place at my job, I thought I would give working a go.  The lab that I work in on that day requires some physical stamina, as I have to cover this lab, this lab, this lab and this lab.  I tried my hardest to fulfill my duties, but was unable and thought it would be best for me to leave and see a doctor.

I went to my doctor’s walk-in clinic.  Where I was almost immediately seen.  They took my vital signs, asked me what I was having problems with and then had me give a urine specimen which I thought was quite odd.  Then the waiting began.  I waited an hour before I was seen by a nurse practitioner, who for some strange reason thinks my appendix was (and still is) about to burst.

I was then directed to take some blood tests and immediately go to the hospital for a CT scan.  I’ll never forget what the nurse told me, “you cannot pass go, you cannot collect $200 – go straight to the hospital.”

I get to the hospital, where I then went to pickup a contrast agent that I had to drink with Gatorade.  Thank god for the Gatorade.  I learned later that particular contrast is used to be able to see the digestive tract.  Then more waiting.  I waited for two and a half hours before I even got the scan!  I then had to wait almost two more hours to get the results, which I got from that same nurse practitioner via phone call!

She said that I had a large amount of lymph nodes that were swollen and my white blood cell count was up significantly but there were no signs that my appendix was in trouble.  In layman’s terms, my body is fighting a infection of some sort.  She then prescribed me 4 antibiotics, which I’m not taking.  I believe I have MRSA and I have read that antibiotics actually perpetuate the spreading of these potentially killer infections.

After finally getting home at almost 9pm, I drank a couple shots of my cure all, Nyquil and went to bed.  I woke up the next morning feeling like a brand new man!

Today I got a call from the walk-in clinic.  They want me to do another CT scan in 3 months to make sure I’m okay.  WTF?  This sounds like either a very inexperienced health care provider, or an organization that is trying to generate some revenue through services that are not needed.  I don’t think I’m going to go to that particular walk-in clinic again.

e-smoking

I recently purchased this model of e-cigarette, to try it out and see if it actually did all it claimed.  I was amazingly surprised!  Since it’s disposable, once the battery died I had to find another option.

So I decided to purchase a “real” model and try to convert myself to something healthier to feed this addiction to nicotine that I have.  I bought this model and a “charger pack.”  It looks like a pack of cigarettes, but charges the battery while you’re on the go.

If you haven’t heard about e-cigarettes, they are very interesting.  They are essentially a battery connected to an “atomizer” which heats up a piece of cotton which is soaked in a liquid.  That liquid can contain just about anything.  I chose a Tobacco flavor with the “high” level of nicotine.  Thus giving me the closest possible resemblance to actually smoking.  To compare it with another addiction, it’s much like heroin addicts receiving methadone for treatment.

Now the hard part begins.  I have been trying to not purchase smokes while I go to work or run errands, but like the habit smoking is – so is buying them.  I’ve found that there are many of my behaviors that I still need to change or work on, and it’s been really difficult.  If I can successfully change these behaviors, I believe I can make this switch.

I’m not trying to quit at this point, I’m trying to move to something “more healthy.”  Once I’m fully adjusted to e-smoking, I can step down the nicotine levels and even remove the nicotine completely!  On a financial note, while this has been an investment at nearly $90, with refills equaling to $0.70 a pack – it’s much cheaper than the real thing!

I’ve shown this to my 10 year old daughter, who it quite amazed at it.   I’ve told her that while this is still smoking, it doesn’t contain all of the “bad things” real cigarettes do.

Ban the Ban

Today on the Herald-Times website there has been a serious discussion regarding IU’s smoking ban which went into effect last January.  It started with a reporter searching the campus for smokers and placing updates on their website, she then spoke with administrators and wrote a full article.

The ban has not been enforced in any way, and as a smoker it bothers me on fundamental levels.  As an employee I could be terminated for violating this policy (which I try very carefully not to), while students face very slight (if any) consequences.

In my opinion, this smoking ban is going to be just like the ban on alcohol on IU’s campus, not spoken about.  I was blown away to actually find out that alcohol is actually permitted on campus for university events if students or others under the age of 21 are not going to be in attendance.

The online discussion on the Herald-Times website opened my eyes up to a few things that I hadn’t known before, and I thought I would pass those along to everyone out there.

All of these “smoking bans” that we see today can trace their roots back to 1930’s Germany.  Read here for more information.  It’s really shocking to me, and confirms my ideas about the subject since day one.

Did you know that over a lifetime, medical costs for obese and average people are more than that of smokers?  Read here for the article.  This information “threw a bucket of cold water” into what everyone thought.  I’m a firm believer that we have been sold on the idea that smoking is “more” unhealthy than it really is.  I’m not trying to say that there are no health risks – I’m just saying as a country I think we’ve been duped.

These two articles really opened my eyes regarding this issue that has been raging in this town for almost 15 years now.

I have been a smoker for more than half of my 28 years on this earth.  I know it’s not the healthiest of things to do, but I do it anyway.  I’ve taken chantix, nicoderm and the commit lozenges to try to quit.  The reason I have not succeeded in quitting is because smoking is part of who I am.  Without it I do not feel like myself, while that is “normal,” I don’t like feeling that way.

While I know it is a chemical addiction just like drugs and alcohol are, that does not bother me.  I have other addictions that I think are worse.  To name one, it’s my endless addiction to technology.

That’s a whole other story that I’ll leave for another time.

Happy 200th! Not.

On a weird statistical note, this is my 200th post to this blog.  I really thought I had written more than that, but not.

The troubling part is the reason why I’m writing this entry.  Rachel and I have been trying to be closer, as we’ve been going through a spell where we are more like roomies than spouses.  It’s really bugged me, and I think it has bugged her too.  We have made some strides in our relationship, but as my dad famously says “almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”

I’ve been having some serious problems in the intimate department of our relationship.  It’s not that I don’t desire my wife anymore, I just can’t perform.  Basically at all.  It makes it hard to be close (in that way) when you know you don’t even have a chance to perform the duties you were designed to do.

I had my yearly appointment with my neurologist this week and I asked him several questions about possible side effects of the two anti-convulsant medications I take, Keppra and Carbatrol.  He told me that those two medications do indeed have sexual side effects and almost instantly offered to prescribe me my pick of something for “ED.”

It was almost like a knee-jerk reaction, and it kind of scared me.  I guess his adrenaline levels finally got in check and he ordered some labs for me.  Mainly my testosterone and thyroid levels.

I found out today that my testosterone levels are, “extremely low for a person of my age” according to my neurologist.  This has put me into a tailspin of feelings and emotions regarding my health.

Should a otherwise healthy 28 year old be taking Viagra?  It’s excluded by my insurance, which makes it almost non reachable financially.  I called the pharmacy to see what the cost of this would be, $144 for 12 pills.  With all of lifes’ expenses, this is one we can do without.

I then called to make an appointment with my General Physician, Dr. Bannec.  He’s a great guy, and I’ve seen him since I was 17.  Hopefully he knows of or can find a better financially suited treatment for me than these $12 a shot “happy pills.”

I’m not complaining about my neurologist as this isn’t really his field.  I’m actually happy he ordered the lab work so we could find the root of the problem.

I just hope life, especially my intimate life can get back to normal as soon as possible.

Pain

I have been in a lot of pain recently.  What really puzzles me is that I haven’t been involved in any rigorous activities.  The only thing I have been really doing lately is sitting on a chair and looking at a computer screen, or laid back in my recliner after work.

My main areas of complaint are my knees and calves.

I had (or at least I thought) a knee injury from a car wreck back when I was 14, but it hasn’t been hurting for years.  The other knee I really have no idea about.

My calves have been really tight lately, I’ve been having muscle spasms on a semi-regular basis in that area.

I just don’t want to go to the doctor, I’m not making much money right now and when I’m not at work I’m not being paid.

I hope this ends soon.  I have big plans that require my health be in good shape!

The Eyes Have It

Several months ago, Rachel and I had our yearly appointments with an ophthalmologist.  She has horrible vision, and mine isn’t bad but is slowly getting worse.

We went to her doctor this time, as they offer discounts for IU employees.  One thing I found very interesting is a service they offer, Eye Scanning.  Instead of dilating your eyes, they have a machine that sounds like a turbine jet engine that takes a picture of them.  It’s called Optomap.  Supposedly with this method, they can see more of the backside of your eyes than with dilation.

When my appointment was over, I asked them if they would send me the pictures.  I finally got them today.

There is a famous saying that states “The eyes are the windows to the soul,” what does my “soul” say to you?

Here is my left eye:

Here is my right eye:

I think they are very facinating pictures to a mysterious world we don’t often see.