Health – Page 3 – lee-lawmaster.com

A Perfect Storm in my Stomach

Last Sunday, I took my princess home. We had spent the day previous at my house, just her and I. I try to give her one on one time with me, but it seems that she is starting to no longer want or need that time on as an obvious level as she once did. My little girl is growing up, and it’s breaking my heart.

I decided to spend the night at my house instead of going back to my girlfriends. I needed to wallow in my own misery a bit. Little did I realize a storm was coming.

While in bed, trying to rest for the next day of pandemic style “working from home” my stomach started twisting in knots, painfully forcing me into a fetal position. Soon enough, I’d be spending long periods of time between that pose and on the toilet, where my bowels decided to act more like a kitchen faucet than a portal to excrete solid waste. But I digress.

Rinse and repeat. This is the story of the majority of my week. It is now Friday, my days and nights are mixed up and my body is in pain from the lack of physical activity. That’s been a theme of my life in the past 5 years, not enough physical activity.

I’ve missed my girlfriend. I’ve missed her heathens (as I affectionately call them). In the last couple of days, the same thing has overcome her. When I was prepared to come back, she told me to stay where I was, and so I have.

The New Normal

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’m really trying to make a conscious effort to not keep up with writing my thoughts. It’s important, especially in times like the ones we are having now.

The entire world is now dealing with the effects of the COVID-19 virus. Infections and deaths are rising at a exponential level. It’s a situation I’ve never seen in my life. As a parent, it’s scary. As a person, it’s scary. As a survivor, I feel like I’ve been waiting my entire life for this.

Last week, the governor of Indiana initiated a Stay-At-Home order. Indiana University has instituted it’s pandemic plans by extending spring break by a week and moving all learning to online. They have also asked that nobody come to campus unless it is absolutely necessary.

As of this writing, there are 22 confirmed positive cased of COVID-19 in Monroe county. I have been watching the numbers on a website the state setup. I expect that number to increase significantly over the next few weeks.

As a IT Professional supporting the School of Medicine in Bloomington, this situation has made work a very difficult task. In the weeks previous, I spent all of my time building new laptops and preparing my staff to work remotely, by giving them the information and tools they needed to keep working. Over the past few months, my remote support abilities have been all but taken from me, as I specialize in direct and personal support. I hope my leadership works on returning those soon.

IU has stated nobody will lose salary or PTO due to this situation, and I am greatly appreciative and grateful for this. Many right now are unemployed or have completely lost their jobs. However, since technology is everything now, I have been inundated. I take my job very seriously, and my faculty and staff need my help right now more than ever. I will not falter them in their time of need.

I am of a split mind when it comes down to how to look at this pandemic in the long term. In the short term, I am hunkering down with my girlfriend and her children. Sticking together and practicing this new term we have all come to learn called “social distancing.” My lifestyle is pretty much what social distancing is all about, so it does not bother me.

However, I feel carelessly unprepared for this. I keep no food at home. Also, if it becomes as crazy as the store shelves look out there, I don’t have the weapons to protect myself or my family. Yes, I am serious.

Regardless, I am a survivor. I was fortunate to have a childhood that gave me lots of gifts. I spent a lot of time on a family farm. Sure, my skills are rusty, but they are there. I can find a nice spot in the woods, build a shelter, hunt game and gather edible finds. That does not scare me.

I must say, we definitely have biblical signs of the last days upon us. First was the locust invasion in Africa. Now we have a worldwide pandemic that would have definitely been called a plague in times past.

I have ordered more parts for building a rifle. I am ordering cases of US Military MREs (Meals Ready to Eat), and will ensure I have portable water filter systems.

No matter what happens, me and my family will survive this. I only wish the rest of humanity the best as we struggle with a pandemic that hasn’t been seen since the Spanish Flu.

Pandemic

Two weeks ago, I got sick. It was a sinus pressure buildup in my head. My head pulsated with migraine like pain.

After taking a week’s worth of Mucinex, the pain went away, or I thought it did. It simply moved to my chest. For the past week, I’ve been dealing with chest congestion. It hasn’t been fun.

Then, the only words I really have for this come from Star Trek The Next Generation, “shakka, the walls fell.”

News of Coronavirus and COVID-19 spread like wildfire. I wasn’t sure if this was just the next hot story in the news cycle or something to be legitimately concerned with. I’m still on the fence in all reality. But I am taking all of the actual news I get under advisement.

In my work at the IU School of Medicine, I’m fortunate to have personal and professional contact with doctors and experts in the medical community. Their calm, keeps me calm.

I’m one to live light, so that I do not have a central base and I can bug out easily. I know others are not as fortunate in that regard. I live knowing I can go to many places across this and other countries if I need to. Connections are everything I have.

My girlfriend recently needed to go grocery shopping and we were shocked to find limits of 4 cans of any item in place at Aldi. Kroger having similar limits as well. Toilet paper seems to be the thing people are hoarding in the USA for this pandemic, I really do not understand why.

I know my thoughts are rambling through this blog post, where I typically try to keep them on point, but I must get these things out.

I have a weakened immune system due to a skin disorder and medications I take for that disorder. Social distancing is something that comes natural to me, as I’m an introvert by heart.

My job has been very mixed on this front, as I answer to different people. My director wants us all to come in tomorrow, while the university’s stance at this moment is work from home if you can.

No matter who you are, or where you are from (I don’t know if anyone even reads this blog), stay safe. This is a time when social isolation is good for humanity, so do it. If not for you, do it for me. I am one of those who could literally die from the spread of this virus.

I’m going to leave you with a great song by a great man with a great band called Half Pagan.

How Life Has Changed

Long foregone is the time of blog posts being what I looked forward to writing. It seems to be a thing of the past, an online journal to express ones thoughts, feelings, actions. This mystifies me, it also troubles me on a deep level.

This blog was a gift to me by one of my life’s heroes, Editor B. I grew up in a lot of ways watching his antics on local cable access. The show wasn’t exactly “suitable” for kids of my age, but I had already experienced much of what was in the show anyway. None of it was new to me.

Since then, he’s also my friend – not just a hero. My heroes in life have always been regular people. I’m not sure why people get attracted to celebrity, nor why people want to be like celebrity.

I documented much of my life between 2006 and 2015 on this blog. It’s contents hold a treasure trove of “me” in it. This also documents the change in my writing and vocabulary, as I only have an 8th grade English education. I may hold an Associate’s degree from Indiana University, but this blog helped me get there.

But life has changed for me, in significant ways that I’m still trying to figure out. I’ve found myself retreating from social media, and society. Work is no longer the adventure I loved but the thing that sustains me. My love of technology is just something I handle now. I’ve changed. I still don’t know if it’s for the better or not.

These days, I have been depleted of energy due to my ongoing skin disorder primarily. Slowly but surely I have been restoring my fathers 1988 Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z. He purchased it new, with my stepmother eventually selling it to me after his passing.

Speaking of that, the anniversary of his death is approaching. It’s placed me into a bit of a downward spiral emotionally. He was the singular true champion of my life. Since then, so much has happened that only his voice, his mind, and his actions would have helped me with.

I have my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years, I have my daughters, and I have my ROX friends. I also have lots of online friends, but that hole in my life from the loss of my father still weighs heavily on my soul. Many times, I still feel lost and completely alone, even when surrounded by many who care for and love me. It’s baffling, and mightily frustrating.

I will be moving this blog to a new domain soon per Editor B’s polite ask. I dare not remove this archive of my life from the Internet. I will always want this as a place to let those inner thoughts out, to show progress on projects, and to give a written record of the life I have led. I would have loved my father having something such as this in his time. I don’t know where it will move to yet, but it will be something that signifies me.

Upgrade Complete

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I’ve written about my health issues. Today I had surgery to replace the battery on my Vagus Nerve Stimulator. It’s primary function is to control my epilepsy, and has been the only thing that has kept my seizures under control.

This is the 3rd time I’ve had this surgery, as the batteries last on average between 5 and 7 years. The surgery went better than I had expected it to. I actually woke up from anesthesia this time without any issues, which surprises me. I really like the stuff. The biggest difference is that they did not suture me this time, and instead used derma bond, which is essentially superglue. I have basically no pain.

The model I now have is upgraded. It has on board diagnostics and even monitors my heart rate and activates automatically if a seizure is detected.

By textbook terminology, I am a cyborg because of this implant.

Baby Maker: Offline

On Thursday I underwent a procedure that eliminates my ability to have anymore children, called a vasectomy.

Sexual health and responsibility is something that is often placed on women, entirely. I know that throughout my entire life, it has been that way. My mother had a tubal ligation after the birth of my sister, and I’ve always relied on the women in my life for that responsibility. I didn’t actively refuse, it just happened that way.

Children are often called a blessing in life, and I totally agree. They however were never an “active” thought for me. They just happened. I never “wanted” children in my mind, I did welcome them into my life however. Some may not like to hear that opinion from a father, but it’s how I’ve always felt. Over the years I’ve had to, or have been asked to censor myself, but no more.

I have 2 daughters, and I’m almost 35. I don’t want anymore children, and it’s only fair and proper that I take a stance on that. I’m also never getting married again, but that’s another tale for another post.

I was quite nervous for the procedure. I’ve had numerous surgeries and procedures done on me over the years, but nothing in the general vicinity. I was prescribed a pain pill and xanax to take 30 minutes before the procedure to calm me and help. They certainly did. I knew a needle would be entering my scrotum to dispense a general anesthetic. This was the part that concerned me the most, I’m not sure why because I didn’t even feel it. The urologist then cut a small hole into my scrotum and pulled my vasa deferentia out, one at a time. He then clamped each one individually, cleared some nerve endings off them. He then cut them in 2 places and cauterized both of them and placed them back. He then placed a couple of disovable stitches on the hole. Procedure done.

I asked if I could keep the 2 inch long piece of each of my vas deferens that he had snipped, but unfortunately he had to keep them for “legal reasons.” It would have been nice to keep that piece of myself for some interesting reason.

While I technically can no longer deliver fresh sperm to an egg, I can cause a pregnancy for 3 months, as the sperm like to hang on for dear life. So I have to give a sample in 3 months to ensure infertility. I have also read in some parts of the internet that a yearly test is a good idea as well.

It was literally easier as far as pain goes than getting blood drawn. I’m surprised every man doesn’t have this done at some point their life. With the Affordable Healthcare Act, this procedure is paid for 100% by insurance, making it even more of a no brainer.

For the first 36 hours or so, I became close friends with 3 bags of frozen peas. As of today, I still have a little pain, but have given the peas a break. I’ve been a bump on a log and stayed on my couch.

I look forward to not worrying about the potential of becoming a father, because I did something about it.

Hidradenitis Supperativa

Such a strange term. Almost impossible to pronounce. This is the name for the condition that has dictated what is physically possible for me to do for the last 16 years of my life.

Never heard of it? Neither had I until a random encounter with a good friend who has it as well. I call her my ‘pain friend’ now.

Until a few years ago this painful condition was limited to my pelvic / upper thigh area. I had my VNS device replaced in 2009 and the HS spread to my under arm area in a bad way.

The only way I have been able to control flare ups (which are horrible and debilitating) has been by shaving all areas of the body affected, using women’s anti-antiperspirant and doing as little physical labor as possible. Now that routine is no longer effective.

My internist Dr. Bannec has helped me as far as his practice allows. After a horrible experience with 1 of the 2 dermatologists in town (he just confirmed what I have and offered no real treatment plan), I’m looking for an expert. No matter the distance or cost.

So far it appears that my closest options for experts in care are Detroit, MI and Cincinnati, OH. Although it appears the guy in Ohio mainly deals with burn patients.

Once I graduate from Indiana University in December. This will be my #1 life goal, to get this painful condition that has ruled my life for almost half of it, under control.

Sick and Tired

I just thought I’d leave a quick note, as I haven’t written in quite a long time:

I didn’t realize how much work my classes this semester would actually be. It’s taken up much of my time as of recently. I also had a bout of pneumonia to which I recovered and now am dealing with some serious sinus issues.

Most of the time working with computers is fun, when you’re sick it’s quite the opposite.

I’ll write again when I can.

Out of Shape

Since I’ve gotten married my weight has risen to a plateau of 275 pounds. It’s amazing how you don’t notice these things until they creep up on you.
Lately my back has been hurting when I do anything but sit. I’m also sure one of the reasons why I’m tired all the time is primarily due to the extra weight I’m carrying around. I know I don’t have anyone to blame but myself, but the last several months have been exhausting due to our ever growing child.

I believe my “six pack protector” is mainly to blame for my back problems. This time I’m not going to complain, I’m going to do something about it! Last winter we bought a Nintendo Wii and Wii Active, a workout program. While it’s not as effective as a real workout at a gym, I believe it will get me on the right track.

I started working out last night, and from that I can tell you for sure that I’m out of shape. I tried the “easy 30 minute” routine, and my body gave out after half of the workout. I’m still sore this morning.

I plan on giving my body a day of rest between workouts to help facilitate getting back to a healthy weight. I hope this can be an inspiration to my wife as well.

For the last year or so, my oldest daughter has become somewhat of a couch potato (much like her father). I want her and Amelia to know that when you do that there are consequences. Had I kept a normal workout routine, or a more physical lifestyle I wouldn’t be in so much pain.

I hope this shows them that it pays to be active now instead of later.

Clogged Drains

I’ve had a particular body problem for a little bit over a decade now. This problem flares up on occasion and it’s not fun to deal with.

From what I’ve read, teenagers have these sorts of problems commonly due to hormonal changes, but I’m far from being a teenager!

My father actually failed his physical when he was drafted for the Vietnam War because of similar issues, so I sometimes wonder if this isn’t an inherited trait I have received from him.

What happens is my body’s natural drains get clogged. I have boils that pool with puss and other disgusting things all over my body. Mainly on the inside of my thighs and around my anus.

These boils cause severe pain, so severe that I sometimes result to using needles to relieve the pressure which causes the pain. I go to the hospital when my home remedy doesn’t work.

Now I have a similar problem that might be related. This has only happened one other time in my life, the fix you might ask? Surgery without anesthetics. The surgeon tried, but it wouldn’t take. I am dreading it, and therefore holding it off until I know that’s the only solution.

My sweat glands are clogged. Anytime I do sweat, it just collects in pockets in my armpits. When this happens it is very painful to have my arms in their “normal” positions. Everything on the internet that I can find recommends to not wear deodorant for a period of two weeks. I am now working on that time period and will see if it solves it.

I have seen many doctors for these issues, and it seems like nobody wants to solve the problem – just treat the symptoms. I’ve been given special antibiotics and special soap – all of which make the symptoms disappear, until my prescriptions run out. By the time I can see the doctor again, it’s as if I never saw them in the first place.

I’m pretty sure I have MRSA. In layman’s terms, an antibiotic resistant bacterial infection. The biggest problem is finding a doctor who actually cares. What a concept.