On a weird statistical note, this is my 200th post to this blog. I really thought I had written more than that, but not.
The troubling part is the reason why I’m writing this entry. Rachel and I have been trying to be closer, as we’ve been going through a spell where we are more like roomies than spouses. It’s really bugged me, and I think it has bugged her too. We have made some strides in our relationship, but as my dad famously says “almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”
I’ve been having some serious problems in the intimate department of our relationship. It’s not that I don’t desire my wife anymore, I just can’t perform. Basically at all. It makes it hard to be close (in that way) when you know you don’t even have a chance to perform the duties you were designed to do.
I had my yearly appointment with my neurologist this week and I asked him several questions about possible side effects of the two anti-convulsant medications I take, Keppra and Carbatrol. He told me that those two medications do indeed have sexual side effects and almost instantly offered to prescribe me my pick of something for “ED.”
It was almost like a knee-jerk reaction, and it kind of scared me. I guess his adrenaline levels finally got in check and he ordered some labs for me. Mainly my testosterone and thyroid levels.
I found out today that my testosterone levels are, “extremely low for a person of my age” according to my neurologist. This has put me into a tailspin of feelings and emotions regarding my health.
Should a otherwise healthy 28 year old be taking Viagra? It’s excluded by my insurance, which makes it almost non reachable financially. I called the pharmacy to see what the cost of this would be, $144 for 12 pills. With all of lifes’ expenses, this is one we can do without.
I then called to make an appointment with my General Physician, Dr. Bannec. He’s a great guy, and I’ve seen him since I was 17. Hopefully he knows of or can find a better financially suited treatment for me than these $12 a shot “happy pills.”
I’m not complaining about my neurologist as this isn’t really his field. I’m actually happy he ordered the lab work so we could find the root of the problem.
I just hope life, especially my intimate life can get back to normal as soon as possible.
Darling, I love you no matter what!!! As we always say, “We’ll get through this. We always do.”
My first thought as I was reading this was that the meds are causing issues. I can tell you from working on neuro notes that you’re totally normal. (In this department, anyway. We know better in the mental arena.)
Hang in there!
I’m obviously behind on my blog reading. I just wanted to second what the other folks said and add my admiration for your bravery in even being able to talk about this. That takes some balls — no joke! Anyway, our country seems to over-saturated with testosterone so maybe you’re having a counter-reaction. OK, that was a joke, but not a very good one.