After a very long hiatus, I’m back!
Much has happened in my life, too much to write in one post really. So I’m going to give a summary of sorts and then expound on the issues. Writing is therapy for me, and I need lots of therapy right now.
First of all, my wife and I of 11 years are divorcing. The reasons are varied and many. It’s the primary cause of the therapy I need, the things I need to get out. She and I both did things that hurt each other, and destroyed our trust in each other.
Secondly, I got a vasectomy today. In todays day and age, it’s important for men to take reigns in on their sexuality and responsibility for that. After a test in 3 months to ensure of it, my baby making days are over.
Last but certainly not least, my father passed away last year in December. To me it was the beginning of the end. From there, as the Star Trek quote goes “chakka, and the walls fell.” His death was really a watershed moment in my life.
I have some motivations to keep my mind off of the emotional and physical pain right now. I’m trying to save my home. Neither of us can afford it on our own. I’ve put the last 9 years of blood, sweat and tears into this home and don’t want to give up on it lightly. I’ve documented a lot of the work on this blog. I’m currently trying to find people to rent out a couple of rooms from me.
I’m also trying to rediscover myself. I gave my all to this marriage and lost the true meaning of me. I’ve reconnected with my old friends and they have really helped me find the me within. I miss that guy.
Like Martin Luther King Jr. so eloquently stated, “If you can’t fly run, if you can’t run walk, if you can’t walk crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.
My eyes are on just that, when they aren’t full of tears.