Over the past year, I’ve went through “it” as is said in the vernacular of my generation. The “it” is the loss of a long term relationship with an intimate partner. I’m definitely past it now though. It was a long, hard and dangerous journey, but I made it!
The summer of 2024 was sometimes exciting, sometimes lonely, sometimes self destructive, but always a lesson in learning about myself. Along the way I met a wonderful woman who had me from the moment we met. Our first date lasted 8 hours. It was like two souls who had been searching for each other finally reconnecting. There has never been any awkardness or “first” jitters between us. Mind, body and soul.
However, due to issues she had to face on her own, that spark was kept from becoming a everlasting flame. Causing me to go back to being self destructive and feeling as if I was the problem. Just as I was getting used to the idea of going on without her, she came back like a spring storm.
Last weekend she and her daughter moved in with me, and in less than 2 months we will celebrate our first anniversary. I look forward to the life we are building together.
Podcasts, a thing that have soared in popularity. Not with me personally. They are something I never thought I would be on either. I’ve been trying to not say that word, never, though. As just when I typically use it – a thing happens.
A dear friend of mine started a podcast up after his long tenure in local government ended. His podcast is about local government, and how citizens work with it to get things done.
It just happens to be the case that I’ve been involved with a little statue you may have heard about? He wanted to speak with me and the first president of our group.
Peter did a lot of the heavy lifting when it came to working with government to make things happen in the beginning, and I will always state that. I was a part of a separate group, formed on Reddit who were trying to accomplish the same task at the same time. It was the host of the podcast who introduced Peter and I. The rest they say is history I suppose.
My largest role in our group? It was I who officially organized The Janeway Collective to be a 501(c)3 non-profit, and got a lot of that business nobody really wants to do handled.
It was a good experience, and I had fun. I really do not enjoy the sound of my voice, but Peter and Steve’s voices are smooth as butter it seems. Perhaps it’s a confidence thing? IDK.
A classmate passed away. I only knew because another classmate let me in on the news. Thank you Erika. I have said for a long time, and I will repeat it here – they are my people. I only want them to be happy and healthy. While I didn’t know her personally, I instantly recognized the name. My ex-fiancee did know this girl. Due to her currently not having any transportation – I took her to the funeral.
It appeared as if she and I were the only people there who were not close family. This broke my heart for Anya and her family. Lyndsey spoke with her mother and father, showing them a photo of them during a sleepover when we were teenagers. Over the years we were together she has had many people who were in her life pass away, but she had never shown her pain, her tears like this.
They were extremely appreciative and grateful for us coming. It made me realize just how large small gestures can be. How much of an impact you can make by just showing up. Funerals are for the living, in a time of great grief.
May you rest in peace Anya. You faced so many difficulties in your time on Earth and brought joy to the lives of those you touched along the way. I hope that joy is not forgotten by those you knew, those you loved.
Anya Ann Vieira, age 43, originally of Bloomington, passed away peacefully at 2:00 pm on Thursday, September 26, 2024, at her home in Bloomfield with her loving service companion “Yuki” the malamute at her side. She was born in Bloomington, IN on October 12, 1980, the daughter of Martin Leonard & Diana Lynn (Allgood) Vieira.
She was a 1998 graduate of Owen Valley High School. She attended dental assistant school in Indianapolis and received a Bachelor’s Degree from Saint Mary of the Woods College. She enjoyed hiking, organizing and spending time with her family. Anya suffered from birth with a long list of debilitating illnesses.
Anya is survived by her loving parents; sister, Tina Hershberger of Las Vegas; nephew, Anthony Coovert; niece, Ashley Coovert as well as several aunts, uncles and cousins.
She was preceded in death by her paternal grandparents, Leonard and Ethel Vieira as well as her maternal grandparents, Frank and Mary Allgood.
Funeral service will be held at 1:00 pm at Welch & Cornett Funeral Home in Worthington on Friday, October 4, 2024 with Pastor Terry Dowell officiating. Burial will follow at Dixon Cemetery in Worthington.
Visitation will be held at the funeral home on Friday from 11:00 am until the time of service.
In lieu of flowers memorial contributions may be made to the Noblesville Humane Society or the American Cancer Society through the funeral home.
I knew the highs of the last few days wouldn’t continue forever, and as I suspected I was right. But you know what? It’s okay, and it will be okay. What’s meant to be will, and I should not concern myself with things I cannot control. It does no good for me or my well being.
I had a wonderful night last night at the Falling in Reverse concert with my ex fiancee. A band I wouldn’t have known about or liked if it wasn’t for her. I told her that she was my conduit for this genre of music, as it’s the truth. I always liked the contrast between our musical styles.
Before the show, I snapped this photo of us. It will probably be the last photo of us together.
Both of us have changed significantly since we started hanging out as friends in 2016. I losing hair and going grey, while she lost a large amount of weight.
The first picture I have of her and I
The show was amazing, and I’m happy I went. For a while we even had a mosh pit in front of us. There were 5 bands that played, and each one put on one hell of a performance. Especially Blackveil Brides and Falling in Reverse.
Today she messaged me that she’s working on fixing things with her new guy, and because of that we can no longer really talk or hang out. I kind of saw this coming, and I understand but am filled with sadness from it.
We had spent 3 lovely evenings together, working on repairing the damages of the past and forging a new version of a friendship. I’m thankful that I had the opportunity of those 3 evenings instead of nothing at all. One of her last texts to me read, “I’m sorry maybe one day.” I hope so too Lyndsey.
This isn’t a purely sad post however, as just as the night was filled with darkness, the girl I went on a date with on Sunday texted me. It’s as if she has a sense that some words from her would be helpful to my mood. She and I seem to be getting closer and closer in a way I’ve never felt or experienced with another. It’s exciting and a literal breath of fresh air. She’s a very busy girl, so I take all of her in while I can. Our next date is planned for this Saturday, a Luau. I cannot wait, and from what it seems like, neither can she.
The future is bright, I just have to keep seizing opportunities as they come.
This weekend really was good to me, and I appreciate all that life is giving to me right now.
I had a date yesterday with someone I met on a dating website. She and I had been chatting for a while, but it was our first time meeting. I was nervous as she’s younger than me. We met at the Runciple Spoon, a place I adore but don’t go to that often. It was a bright and beautiful day. I felt like I did most of the talking, but she seemed to enjoy it. We ended our brunch date agreeing to swap phone numbers and to have a second date. I gave her a hug and we parted ways.
I came back home, still tired from the day before and sent her a message with my phone number, telling her that she could text me.
I then proceeded to fall asleep and wait for the concert I was going to see, Soul Asylum, Live and Stone Temple Pilots. 3 HUGE bands from my youth. My ex was going to be there, but after the night we had together I thought everything would be okay.
I had a ticket in the pavilion, right behind the pit. It was a great seat BUT I was surrounded by dudes. Once the lights came on I had to retreat, as they would have caused me to have a seizure if I had stayed there.
So I retreated and sat with my ex fiancee, her daughter and her friend for the rest of the show. Sure the views weren’t as good – but the company was better. The whole concert I was thinking about that date, and wondering if I’d hear back from her. With so many people ghosting me out of the blue, I assumed it would be the same thing – but it wasn’t! She texted me as I was leaving!
Tonight I have another concert, Falling in Reverse. A show the ex fiancee and I were going to go to before everything fell apart between she and I. I’m happy we are going to be able to go. I’ve missed music, I’ve missed concerts.
I felt lost for so long, but now it definitely feels as if things are looking upward in my life. I’m just going to keep taking things as they come, and appreciating the good things as they have been so far and few between.
We just setup our next date, a Luau put on by a dear friend who has helped me through some of the darkest times of my life including the recent break-up.
Last week was Amelia’s spring break. I decided to take her on a trip I took her mother on many years ago. To the great white north! And white it was, the ground was covered with snow when we got there and the temps were in the 30’s.
We stayed 2 days on the New York Side, 2 days on the Canadian side, and then made our way to Dearborn Michigan, where we went to The Henry Ford Museum and Rouge Factory Tour. Something my uncle was going to go with us to, but unfortunately passed away before we were able to. He was with us in spirit.
It was the most boring FLW home I’ve toured, minus one detail. A sculpture in the conservatory. Which I purchased a smaller version of. Her mom and I went to many FLW homes, including Fallingwater and were foundation members for a few years.
The view from our hotel room in Canada was glorious. Making it not needed to do many things along the gorge that most do.
We did go to the Journey Behind the Falls experience, something her mom and I also did.
While there, I had to pickup some Cuban cigars. Something that was strictly not allowed during my first visit. I must say, they are the best tasting cigars I’ve ever had in my life. Well worth the price.
I’m quickly running out of these “take her on trips I took her mom on” trips. There’s only 1 left, and that is Fallingwater & the Flight 93 memorial. I hope Amelia is able to look back on these experiences with just me and appreciate them as she becomes an adult.
October 23rd, 2022 was a grand day for Star Trek, Bloomington & The Janeway Collective. On that day, Kate Mulgrew kept the promise she made on October 24th, 2020 when The Janeway Statue was unveiled.
Kate Mulgrew’s Beautiful Smile
On that cold, socially distanced day in 2020 she made a promise that she would come visit, and that it would be a great day. She was right.
The stars aligned and we were able to have an event with Kate. So many questions had to be answered, so many problems solved to make it happen however. Unfortunately, with my back problems and job change I hadn’t been able to give what I gave to the unveiling.
Event space near the statue was expensive, prohibitively. But the old Woolery Mill, that has been revamped by One World Enterprises wasn’t. It was out of town compared to the statue and other options, but it was overly welcoming. It was there where we held an event titled “A Conversation with Kate” which was a sell out, with close to 500 in attendance. The maximum occupancy was 520.
Kate had a long day that day, driving all the way from Iowa where she is from. Arriving at the statue I’m sure she was a combination of tired and excited at the same time, as we had roughly the same audience size in attendance as we did for the unveiling. There was also plenty of media there, from Indiana Public Media, to The Bloomingtonian, our own crew that was recording and streaming the goings on via Facebook, and a few others that I didn’t know or recognize.
While at the statue, Kate gave a speech and then took some photos. Due to the size of the crowd, and an angry older lady with a walker – the situation quickly became one of fear of the security of our esteemed guest. So I, our security team and other members of the collective quickly formed a bubble and whisked Ms. Mulgrew away.
Kate and I – Photo by Jeremy Hogan
We then proceeded to the event space, where I had helped do some setup. The event began with The Nerdy Flutist, who had also played at the statue before Kate arrived. She and her friends had made some videos on Tik Tok. It was then that I knew we had to invite her for such an event. I’m very happy the collective continued my motivations.
When she was done with her set, Kate made her way to the stage. I’ll never forget Kelly’s words on the experience for her. As Kate bowed to her, it made her feel appreciated, it made her feel seen and loved. And loved she is, for just being herself.
The Captain Applauds The Flutist
After the event, we had a private dinner with Kate at The Irish Lion. I was told only the board would be present, but we had some other guests including said flutist, who sat next to me. She felt like she was in a dream that she didn’t want to wake from, and I was so happy for her. I told Kate about how the place we were having dinner was featured on the TV show Cheers, which she was on several times. It was a great day, and a great evening.
In many ways, it was the dream realized for the rag tag group of people that got together in 2019 wanting to build a statue for “our” captain.
Saturday night as I was laying down to go to bed, a large POP and CRACK occurred in my back. I’ve been dealing with this bulged disk for over a year now. Was this a good sign or a bad one?
So far, the news is positive. The nerve pain I have been having has almost disappeared. I still have some slight issues, but nowhere near what I was having.
This means I can actually stand without my leg going numb completely. I still have some numbness, but nowhere near the levels that I had previously.
I plan on getting a hold of the spinal specialist I saw previously to have another CT scan done to see if there are indeed any changes. If so, I definitely won’t have to have any surgery. Something I was genuinely worried about.
Steve, Kelly & I at the Runciple Spoon
I felt so good that I was able to go out and see a couple of friends, one of which was in town from Milwaukee for the LOTUS festival. I had planned on seeing them during the festival, but my back had been hurting so much I barely moved the entire weekend.
Almost two weeks ago I received a call from my uncle in Michigan. It was bad news. My aunt Marty was in the hospital and it didn’t look like she would recover.
Marty flippin’ my dad the bird, circa late 80’s.
I told him that I would be there the next day. After clearing things with my new job, I hit the road. A journey I hadn’t made in eight years. Shortly behind me was my girlfriend. She stayed behind as we were not sure if Amelia wanted to come.
My favorite sign from their house.
My aunt and uncle moved to Michigan in 1995 from Greenfield, where they had the largest house I had ever stayed in. Their employer had been bought out and they were offered jobs in Detroit, or they could find new jobs and stay. They decided to go.
My dad’s trusty Blazer with my uncle showing off his new house.
She worked in the branches eventually becoming an Associate Vice President of the bank before her retirement. Always firey, always full of attitude. I know why my uncle fell in love with her.
She has a son, who was on Jeopardy at one point. In all these years, I’ve yet to meet him however.
I arrived; and my uncle and I immediately went to the hospital. It was bad. I was suddenly confronted with the reason why I missed out on several family members passing. After going through what happened with my grandfather, I could no longer go to such situations. I had to, my uncle suddenly had no other family. He needed someone to be there for him; and I was going to make sure he wasn’t alone.
Sadly, my aunt didn’t make it. Her condition only eroded until she passed away on 9/11/2022 at 5:30pm.
Her attitude, her voice and her humor formed the basis of why I love women the way I do. Her ferocity towards all things are why I love women who refuse to apologize for being their honest selves. I had no other symbols of female power as close to me as she was in my family.
I will forever miss you Marty. You made this little boy love women just like you.
While Amelia and I were spending a week away, I noticed a large disparity in the gas mileage my vehicle was achieving.
The vehicle in question, a 2012 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Rubicon
Normally, I get between 15-16mpg in this tank. It doesn’t matter how I drive, or the kind of road I’m on, those are the numbers. The only time that has ever changed has actually been for the negative. If I push it on the interstate and go over 75mph, my mileage will plummet to as low as 13mpg.
Normal mileage readings from my app.
But the opposite happened. My gas mileage increased to 19mpg. Most of my driving was highway/interstate driving. It has me puzzled.
Courtesy the app I use to track my automotive expenses.
The only thing I can think of would be the difference in terrain. The area around Indianapolis doesn’t have many hills.
