This weekend has flown by, but I did get some things done that I wanted to get done. As of late, it’s as if the weekends have been used to recuperate from the week I’ve had, with my body feeling as if I’ve been through a marathon.
Saturday, I finally installed my missing outdoor water spigot. The way my houses plumbing was installed just puzzles my mind. All CPVC. This is just the start of my eventual replacement of all of the plumbing in my house, as I’m converting it to PEX.
Today, I mowed my yard. My grass grows rather quickly, it had grown about 4″ since it’s first mowing of the year exactly a week ago.
I then setup a new WAP (wireless access point). It’s a Ubitiqui Flex-HD. When I started to set it up, it didn’t want to work with my existing systems at all. So I went down a wormhole of setting up their controller software, called Unifi in a Docker container on my Plex server. That last part took a large portion of the day itself.
With it, I was able to segment my network and create a IOT network for all of those “smart” devices we have these days – that aren’t really so smart. I take my network security and personal security pretty seriously, and this will show them who the boss is.
On this day (4/16) in 1960, in Kokomo Indiana, my mother was born. Her life was full of what I can only assume was a hard childhood. Her mother, my memaw was not married and in her later years confessed to me that she became pregnant with my mother during a tryst in a church in her hometown of Leavenworth, IN.
My mom and my aunt, 1962
Soon she would have a sibling, from a different father. I know as sisters they loved each other very much, and her new stepfather legally adopted my mother, but there was something she never elaborated about that she didn’t like about him.
From the combination of things both my mom and dad said to me, my mom grew up not knowing her real father, but she eventually got to. I don’t know if she was still in high school or not, but it was around the time she was 18. The experience was not what she had hoped for it to be, she had additional 2 half sisters. In the end, my father (who had just started dating her at the time) had to drive down to Floyds Knobs to get her. According to my father, he ended up putting a bullet through his head around the time I was born.
Senior picture, BHSN 1979
Motherhood wasn’t something my mom was prepared for, or enjoyed. She was still trying to figure out who she was when she became my mom. They were some hard years for her, trying to find her place in this world. It’s then when I think her never ending search for a “dad” began.
Little me and my mom, in our first home
My father loved my mom deeply, and wholeheartedly until the day he passed away. Unlike my own experiences in life, he was always a part of the family to which he had divorced from. Even as an adult, my dad would come over to my moms for holiday events.
My mom on the other hand, spent several years cheating on my father, going to parties and spending time with darker ends of society. I even have memories of being at these gatherings with her, drugs and alcohol on full display, sex everywhere. The TV was a tool used to distract my eyes from what was going on.
My parents eventually divorced, with my father uncommonly retaining full custody of me. My mother could have visitation with me, but often didn’t have a place for me or transportation. I don’t think she ever paid child support.
For years, my mom disappeared. She was with her new man on the run from the law. Originally they had plans to go to Washington State but the gas money ran out in Texas, and that’s where they stayed. She eventually returned in an effort to get away from him but that was only temporary. It was however a sign of life getting better, as she started the job she would hold for almost 20 years then, at General Electric.
Through no choice of my own, I was forced to live with her between sixth grade and the age of majority. They were best of times, they were the worst of times. For the most part, it was like living with a room mate. There were a couple of times where I genuinely felt like I had a mother; but I always relied upon my dad for emotional support.
She supported me financially. She gave me what I can only call a middle class life, but our family unit was definitely shattered. I would often times purchase drugs for her. She would buy me a carton of cigarettes a week. She only had 1 rule, that if I was doing something illegal – I stay put. I kept my word on that rule, as I felt that it was the single thing I could do to honor her.
My wedding, where my own parents and grandparents were married
As an adult, her life seemed to be one series of disasters after the other until a large disaster reformed her life, she was laid off. The GE factory that I had even worked at was coming to a stand still. It’s now been closed for years. Through a program they have however, she was able to essentially skip the line and get a new job at the GE Appliance Park in Louisville, Kentucky. At the start it was a little rough, but she eventually was able to buy a home! Something neither of my parents had really done, owned a home.
Then, in the spirit of Star Trek, “Shakka, the walls fell.”
She lost that job too, she had amassed a large amount of debt and had nothing else to cling to but the inheritance her own mother left her of roughly $50k in an investment account and shared ownership of her home with my aunt, a home I always adored.
Unbeknownst to her, my aunt had allowed her youngest son and his newly started family to live there. I understood and appreciated it. It was better for someone to be there than for it to be empty, abandoned. I always wanted to keep that house in the family, no matter what.
With nowhere else to turn, and nothing else to lay claim to, my mother filed a protection order on her own nephew, who is an active member of the US Army. This forced him to leave the home his own mother let him stay in, that she legally owned 50% of.
It was during this time that I was going through my own circles of hell, with a divorce under my belt, a protective order on me and pending criminal charges happening. I had just gotten the job that I still have, giving me a level of financial freedom I had never known before. A load of responsibility came along with that however.
So here she was, my mother, in my deceased memaw’s house, “cleaning” it. There is no power, there is no water – there are no utilities. She asked for my help, and I did the only thing I felt that I could. I bought her as many non perishable goods I could, and loads of bottled water. I took her out to dinner, and I filled her gas tank up. I didn’t want her to die.
It was when she asked me to buy her cigarettes that I drew the line. I had tried to get her to quit smoking and at minimum start vaping for years. It is also at this point when the physical track on my mother went cold. I only heard from her two times after that day. All other information I have is 2nd hand or from law enforcement, doing welfare checks.
I found out years later that my memaw’s home, that her and my papaw had worked many hours of overtime and put lots of blood, sweat and tears into turning into the house of this grandchild’s dreams, was sold due to being behind on property taxes. It was sold to my half-sister’s uncle. Who has now turned it into something I don’t even recognize anymore. I refuse to even drive down that stretch of road anymore. My heart can’t bare to see it. They spent their lives trying to make the lives of their descendants better; and in the end the temple to which our family celebrated many of the things families celebrate became the subject that tore ours apart. It hasn’t been the same since.
So, happy birthday mom. Your children are doing okay. You have a new grand daughter. Both of your children do love you, and we do worry about you. Your oldest grand daughter needs you back in her life, as you are the only grandparent she has left; and that has left a tremendous hole in her heart.
November 8th I participated in a car rally with my girlfriend’s son. The first time I’ve ever done such a thing. It was called “The Hunt” and there were 110 cars in total, including a Lamborghini Diablo, a Ferrari FF and an Acura NSX.
This rally was a trip from Indianapolis to Cincinnati and back, with detours off the interstate to keep things interesting. I went with 4 other cars from the Bloomington Auto Club, where we met up at 6am.
After a swift drive up to the place where we were staging, the cars started to roll in. We had made it around 8am, and were not set to head out until 10. So we hung out, checked out other cars and after checking in we all had a catered breakfast.
Photo of Lamborghini Diablo, courtesy of Chris Cunningham.
I felt a little embarrassed while we waited. Here I was in a incomplete 32 year old survivor car. Surrounded by vehicles worth more than my own home. I was with car people though, and several came to tell me how happy they were to see a 3rd gen Camaro. One guy even took photos of almost every angle imaginable. My car is of the elder generation now, and the respect it is shown makes me very proud.
The rally was started with a fury like no other. Speed limits didn’t exist. Before I realized it we were out of Marion county. We took an exit off I-74 onto a country road that met back up with I-74. I hit a bump on one corner, which put me in a slide that I was able to control. Tyler was loving every minute of the action.
Meanwhile on the app we were using for the rally, messages of “COPS ARE EVERYWHERE” were being blasted. Apparently our shenanigans had caused the phone lines at many police departments to light up.
Pit stop # 1, photos by Chris Cunningham, merged by me.
As pictured, our first official pit stop was something else. We completely filled up the parking lot in this gas station, with additional cars parked on the side of the highway. If you look closely, you will see my car.
That pit stop lasted about 30 minutes or so. When my fellow BAC members finally decided to take off, I went with them and within 15 minutes it all fell apart.
We were cruising on the interstate at nominal speeds, nothing insane, when I seemed to have lost all power. The engine was still running but driving at speed was impossible. I did not want to stop on the side of the interstate, and so I hobbled along 12 miles to Greensburg, IN. During that 12 miles, the temperature gauge began to spike, the car died once. When I made it to the exit – there was no gas station in sight. So I had to make some evasive and illegal maneuvers to keep the momentum going to make it to a gas station about a mile away.
I got the car parked in a way where it could be towed if needed. I then popped the hood and it began to overheat. So I turned the fans on (a little trick is to turn the AC on with the car off) to do what I could to help it cool. After about 30 minutes, I started the engine. Almost immediately, it sounded like a pop can rattling inside one (or two) of the cylinders. Cylinders 1 or 3 to be exact.
That’s when I knew the course of action. We were done, and the car was not going to move under it’s own power. This was to be the last time I took the car out for the year, and what a way to go out.
Such a sad site
This was meant as a pressure test on the car for an eventual trip to see my family in Oklahoma. My father bought this car in 1988, and none of them have ever seen it in the flesh. I would have had a massive emotional breakdown if it wasn’t for Tyler, my girlfriend’s son. His positive attitude kept me positive through the whole ordeal. The tow bill? $575.
After I contacted my fellow guys in the BAC, I was a little shocked as to what happened not too long after my break down. There was a road block! One of my guys pulled a U turn and got a ticket. There was also apparently LEO’s in the Cincinnati area trying to catch Rally goers. My red Camaro would have been easy to spot from a mile away.
At this point, the probable diagnosis is a broken valve. It could be much worse however. A piston or rod could have had a problem. The head could be warped. The absolute worst case is that the block is damaged beyond repair.
I have ordered a scope to get a look inside the engine and am still waiting on it’s arrival. Once I get that initial diagnosis in, I’ll get a better idea of what direction I have to take. I have no issue rebuilding the top end of the engine with better flowing heads, valves, and to port the intake or find one of those “big mouth” bases for a TPI.
Yesterday, the Holden Owners of Indiana put on a cruise called the Fall Foliage Cruise. I had Amelia with me and wanted to take her on a proper ride in her papaw’s car.
The route began in Nashville, IN with a destination of Bo-Mac’s Drive-In located in Shoals, IN. We then took a separate route towards the starting point, which literally took me home, ending the cruise for us.
The route was far more twisty than Google wanted to show.Me and the Camaro, surrounded by some amazing cars from all around IndianaWhen I took this picture, the guy in the Ute said, “That’ll be $3.” I <3 these Aussie cars.
We all hung around for about an hour, talked to each other and then took off. Shockingly I has the most conversation with a guy in a Mustang. I was the only Camaro on the cruise.
The Geo Metro driver took this photo and I love it.
On the first leg, not too far out of Story, IN we ran into a group of 4 bicyclists. We were all running pretty hot, warming up the road and our tires. The car in front of me, a Geo Metro Convertible locked his brakes up and went in the other lane. That was when my own brake light came on and I lost a lot of my own braking power. For the rest of that first leg, I had to press the brake pedal about 3/4 of the way before the brakes began to work. We drove by Bedford North Lawrence High School, which is right by where my daughter now lives. It would have been nice if her mom and stepbrothers would have came out and waved in support.
Thankfully we were at a gas station for the first pit stop.
The next leg took us to Shoals, IN and the drive-in. Getting there was a bit of a battle though, as our group of 60 cars was split by a stranger and a tanker truck on US50. This road isn’t exactly “friendly” for safe passing of vehicles. One by one, the guy in the Mustang I mentioned previously, an AMG Mercedes and I passed them both however. Amelia loved it.
Home of the ROX Burger!
When we arrived at the drive-in, Amelia ranted and raved about the place. As a friend of hers had three t-shirts from there. Later in the day, she found out this friend’s grandfather owns it.
We all ate, rested and chilled for a while. Then a group of us, mostly driven by members of the BAC, decided to leave early to do some more “spirited” driving. We of course, went with the group. This became the hardest, fastest section. We took a county road the hardest I’ve done since I was a teenager. At some points my tires were telling me I was pushing the limits. I was proud of the IROC’s performance however, beating anyone was not what I was trying to do, keeping up with the pack is all I needed to smile.
Then we had another “incident.” We had moved from the county road to US450, a proper two lane highway. We turned a corner and were on a bridge when everyone just began braking, hard. It took everything I had to not hit the car in front of me. The 4th Generation WS6 Trans Am behind me almost hit me, but he later said he was under control. Then to my left, a white Fiesta went flying down the oncoming lane, hard. He later said he was going to make that oncoming truck stop, and he did! A couple of minutes later, we ended up on US50 at a gas station with a large parking lot. Upon arriving we all got out of our cars in a collective WTF just happened?
As we were there a Bedford cop showed up, I said well we’ve been made.
In all the years dad owned this car, he never really tried to see what it would do except for the few times we took it to Indianapolis Raceway Park to drag race it. Those who know IROC-Z’s know they aren’t a drag car in stock format. They are killer in the corners however, and can keep up with brand new sport cars in that regard.
I talked to Amelia about this, and how I hoped we were making him proud from wherever he is. It’s all I want to do, make him proud.
I feel like I need to write. This week has been a mix of incredible and overwhelming anxiety.
This week was my first week of 4 day workweeks, something I asked for to help with these trying times. I was given approval by my manager and center director to do so. I don’t know how long I will be doing this, but for the time being I need it.
I have been putting off some much needed maintenance on my Jeep. I need to change the spark plugs badly. It seems like every time I psych myself up to do it I chicken out however. I don’t get it. I did get around to changing the differential fluid on both rear ends today. I don’t know if it was a fluke or what but the front would only take 1 quart. The rear 1 1/2 quarts. They should take much more.
I love the fill and drain plugs of the Dana axles.
One day while at work I received a call from my mortgage company. I’m thankful they were able to help me keep my home at a time when all the odds were against me. They have called me many times with offers that were of no benefit to me, just another sale for them. This time it was different.
With the economy in dire straits, and my credit card debts only increasing, this changes the ballgame for me. It rolls all of my credit card debt into a refinance, lowers my interest rate by 1.26% AND my payments with escrow stay essentially the same. This is a financial grand slam as far as I’m concerned.
This will relieve me of over $500 in credit card payments a month alone. It’s not that I couldn’t pay them, but the removal of those stressors is a welcome sign. The only downside to this is resetting the 30 year countdown on paying the debt off, and increasing that particular principal owed.
The elimination of the other higher interest debts really balances it out however, at least to me. With my paycheck not getting any larger anytime soon I need to make some strategic financial moves to ensure I stay in the green and actually build a savings holdings.
There’s a commonality between many American’s these days. We are all just one emergency away from disaster. Many are living paycheck to paycheck, or the newly minted direct deposit to direct deposit.
This year, the drainage work I had to have done was enough to break my budget. When this pandemic struck, my salary was also cut by $1750 a year, with overtime eliminated.
Most recently, my daily driver has required much. The brake replacement costing $700, I still need to perform the 100k mile tuneup. While I have already acquired the parts needed, being spark plugs and intake plenum gaskets, I have extreme trepidation about performing the task. The fear of the unknown has always been one of my largest fears.
As if life wasn’t giving me enough to deal with, something happened with my washing machine. I’m not an expert in electronics or in major home appliances but all of the things shown tell me it wasn’t good.
I first discovered a trail of water in my basement in an L shape from my basement garage door to my washing machine. From there the possibilities were endless, that was until I opened the washing machine up. It was completely full of water. It was overflowing, causing this leak into my basement.
I borrowed a pump off of a friend who had lent me a pump when my basement was flooding. Thankfully it fit into the old washing machine, which was just a $75 Craigslist special. When I bought it, I promised myself that I would not be doing this song and dance again. I wanted to purchase something new and something that was Energy Star certified.
But first, I had to correct the issues. The water valves were leaking and would not shut off fully.
I couldn’t even remove the hoses
I did not want to replace these valves with the same thing. I wanted ball style valves without a flange for wall mounting. Thankfully when whoever set this up originally, they attached these with a threaded fitting, making replacement somewhat easy. Finding the valves I wanted ended up being a task however. The major big box stores did not have any. Menard’s said it was special order, Lowe’s stated they had 6 in stock online, so I place an order before I went to bed. By the time I woke up, that order had been cancelled. This is the second time this has happened to me when ordering something online from them.
I had a meeting the next day and as luck would have it that meeting took me into the direction of a small True Value hardware store in a town where I used to live. They had the valves I needed, but they were double the price.
So with the old washing machine cleared of water and moved out of the way, I got to work removing the valves. I had to put a fair amount of thread tape on to seal the valves, redoing one of them twice. But they function much better than the ones that were existing.
The correct term for these are “Hose Bibs”
I then needed to do the thing I was dreading the most. I had to get rid of the old washing machine, and the old dryer I had replaced but never taken off. I also had 6 brake rotors sitting around from all of the brake work I’ve done in the past year.
I have my dad’s truck, but it’s currently not operational or road worthy. Most in the area charge to haul things off, no matter what the size. This has always stricken me as odd, as they receive money for scrap on these items. So I reached out, and a friend very openly let me borrow his truck. In kind, I left my Jeep with him. I’m not a fan of taking things from others and leaving them without.
My body is in horrible physical condition, and as I’ve learned it’s becoming weak. It made me happy to be able to accomplish this task.
I received $16.55 for this in scrap
When finished, I filled up the gas tank of my friends truck in appreciation. He uses it a lot for his work and drives a lot. I would much rather help someone I know than rent a piece of equipment and give money to a corporation.
Then it arrived, the new washer I bought. At first I was a little overwhelmed. I’m not used to having such nice things to handle such tasks.
I had the delivery men take it out of the box and leave it in my garage.
It was a bit hard to get it into my utility room. The feet on this unit don’t allow it to slide like most washing machines that I’m used to. So I had to carry it. With new everything, the entire installation went very smooth.
The contrast is now obvious and clear however. This new machine has more than double the capacity of my old one. It automatically senses the load size and can be started with an app.
Thankfully I was able to get this on an 18 month no interest offer. I hope to pay this off quickly, then purchase the matching dryer. That will require some more upgrades, as my dryer outlet is a 3 prong, and new dryers require a 4 prong.
As it’s been for a while, I’m just living for the future, when some of my debts are paid, and the difference between living and surviving becomes clearer.
Last week something pretty awesome happened, my oldest child turned twenty one.
Her mother and I were young when she was born. I blame it on kids who weren’t using their minds. Regardless, we’ve loved her from the beginning. I had more difficulty along this journey. I always felt like she was mature as I was.
Her mother and I split up early in her life, I was going through some of the heaviest things I had dealt with up to that point, causing me to be just another child for her to deal with. We sometimes bicker, we sometimes fight, but it’s always been about her interest.
Over the years, she did what a kid does, she grew. The time was passing by and I didn’t even know it. Had I known, I would have taken those opportunities to do so much. I was in a semi-permanent state of exhaustion just trying to keep the lights on.
Those are my pajamas
She often talks about how one of her happy memories of childhood is when I would play barbies with her. She would put Barbie into a situation where she needed rescued, and I would turn Ken into Superman. He would fly up and rescue the damsel in distress.
As the child became the teenager, that closeness disappeared. In many ways, it’s the circle of life. I was just starting to get a grasp on how to be a father. She went off and did her teenage things, and I took those lessons she gave me to provide the things I should have for her, to her sister.
The day she was born, I had my mom buy a bottle of Jack Daniels (I was too young). To be held onto until her 21st birthday, when her mom, I and her would celebrate this accomplishment. I feel that modern society doesn’t give our children any real rites of passage through their journey to adulthood.
Some get graduation or commencement ceremonies for each level of school (I didn’t). Some get parties for these things, I didn’t. I wanted to ensure my children knew and had the depth of thought about their father holding onto something for 21 years, just to share it with them.
I was happy to share my home for people from all over to come celebrate her graduating high school. It filled my heart for this experience however.
Cheers kiddo!
The next day, I took her out to dinner in her papaw’s Camaro. I had driven her around the neighborhood, but she had never properly rode in it before in her life. I think that ride showed her why it’s special to me, and why I want it to stay in the family.
Here’s to adulthood, and all the responsibilities contained in it. Life is a complete mess for all of us right now, but we will always have each other. I love you kiddo, and always will. Through the ups and downs life throws us, we need people we can depend upon and I’ve always tried to be just that for you. Ol’ dad will always have your back, without question.
My goal in life is to see you succeed where your dad never could. I’ll do just about anything to help you do that, but like my father before me I won’t dictate your vision for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Today was a good day. Today I met a man I’ve known strictly through Facebook for what feels like an eternity, but we had never met in real life until today.
He and I share the same debilitating skin disorder, learning of each other in a support group and quickly becoming friends due to our fairly close vicinity to each other.
He knew I was feeling overwhelmed by all of these chores I needed to complete, but couldn’t simply due to the heat and offered to help me clean up the trees I cut down. I completed the task by cutting the pieces into smaller manageable pieces, while he used my mower and cart to haul the wood to the back of my lot.
I became overheated and had to take breaks. I appreciated the company and the brotherhood he provided. Immensely.
I hope more people like him continue to shine a light on this world.
Saturday, I took the Camaro out for a test. I needed to go to a friends to check on the progress she has made on quilts made out of my father’s clothes. She lives just north of Evansville.
I ran into / noticed several issues that I’m posting here for my own sake.
That temp right? Completely normal.
I have the cluster in, but it is only connected to the speedometer cable and electrical plugs for the cluster. Due to vibrations, etc. it likes to pop out, rendering some of the gauges useless at times.
The odometer and trip odometer are not working right – at all. It listed my trip to Evansville as 500 miles. The round trip added 3 thousand miles to the odometer. Part of this is because I was unable to get the right gear in the transmission. That is the reason why the cluster isn’t installed completely. The speedometer is also still off, by 10 to 20mph. This is a work in progress. I got lucky and was able to source a proper speedometer gear. Once I get it – the odometer, trip odometer and speedometer should theoretically function properly. They may need some calibration work however. If I cannot get them right, I have been in contact with a company in Rhode Island that specializes in this exact work.
The “fam jam” to use today’s vernacular. Dad’s vehicles and his son, their safekeeper.
The cruse control is not functional. I had never tried to use it before. I have a replacement control arm. I have read in many forum posts where someone has replaced the control arm and it resolved the problem. I will wait until I have done this to dig any further on the manner.
The Service Engine Soon kept coming on about every 30 miles or so. Whatever fault is happening, it is not being stored in the computer as a simple restart clears it. Which leads me to my next issue.
The car is running rich. It’s not overtly evident all of the time, but after a while you can smell fuel. I used 20 gallons on a 200 miles trip. This car should be getting around double that. I’m going to start by replacing the O2 sensor and installing an adjustable fuel pressure regulator. This car is over 30 years old. It’s quite possible the rubber diaphragm that controls fuel pressure is bad. The OE regulator is known for not providing enough pressure, hence the adjustable option. We will see where this road leads me.
I rode all day with the t-tops off. It provided wonderful ventilation but also gave me a little too much sun. When I put the t-tops in their storage bag in the car, I noticed the stitching that holds the bag’s zipper on has rotted away. I need to get this repaired. It will require someone with the equipment that can handle such thick material.
Today, on the ride home from my girlfriends, it was raining. I rolled the window down a little to get some ventilation and noticed some water leaks. It’s something I will keep my eye on. Some well placed RTV or silicone will probably resolve the issue. It is not a major issue however. T-top cars are notorious for leaking water.
Period. Normally used as punctuation to end a sentence. However, I’m writing about the other commonly used meaning of the word, menstruation in the female of our species.
I was told the other day over text by my ex wife that our daughter, “is no longer a little girl.”
I’ve missed her significantly, as I haven’t seen her in over 3 weeks now. It could be why I’ve been feeling so down lately.
With my oldest daughter, mum was the word on the subject of her growing up. I wasn’t to know anything. With my youngest, things are different. It’s okay for dad to know. She’ll always be my little girl, but she’s now onto adolescence.
I’m nervous and scared at the same time. I just hope she knows that she doesn’t have to hide this part of her life with her old man.
