Deep Thoughts – Page 3 – lee-lawmaster.com

Giving In

I purchased a new dishwasher, which led into me replacing my kitchen floor. I didn’t want to put this nice appliance in with such a hideous floor, one that had been there since quite possibly the mid 1980’s.

I take pride in my abilities to do manual labor, but my body has been saying no to such ventures more and more to the point where I just need to stop trying and start giving into what my body is telling me.

The existing floor is (or should I say was) was compromised of two layers of linoleum. Full of bumps and holes and all of the bad parts of the 80’s. I first wanted to go with a classic black and white checkerboard look. Unfortunately I couldn’t find a supplier that had what I was looking for that was as durable as I wanted. That’s when I made the choice to upgrade to tile, an area that I’ve never worked in before.

We found a tile we liked, and since my girlfriend’s place has a tile kitchen I knew I wanted it to have a heating system. So I pulled a very expensive trigger.

I wanted to do the prep work, so they could just come in and lay the tile. I “thought” I was proceeding properly, but learned yesterday I was wrong. Part of our contract was for me to remove the appliances, trim and ensure the subfloor was at least 5/8″ thick. I missed a little detail though. They wanted it to be in OSB.

The subfloor of my entire home is comprised of what is commonly called chipboard. It’s essentially dust from woodworking that’s glued together and compressed to form a dimensional, workable piece of wood. It has a couple of real negatives. Water will cause it to disintegrate, and it isn’t as solid as other forms of sub flooring, something needed and in most cases required for tile.

My first step in preparing the area was to remove the way the water line for the ice maker was configured and install a “box” in the wall for it. Oddly, while doing this I discovered that someone had already drilled a hole for this purpose but never completed the task. Someone had just drilled a hole in the floor and ran a line through it.

I will fix the additional space I had to cut below after the tile is installed

Last weekend, I began the real preparations as I thought they would be. My neighbor helped me pickup some 4’x8′ sheets of 1/4″ luan plywood. This is commonly used to make flooring smoother or increase the thickness of the floor. I was using it for the latter purpose.

I removed all of the appliances, sans the dishwasher and was going to begin on removing the existing flooring on Saturday morning. I woke to discover my wonderful girlfriend had removed the vast majority of it while I was sleeping.

We both felt that the lower layer of flooring was much better looking than the one above it. I wonder why they put new flooring down that was less durable and definitely not as visually pleasing?

I took all of the old stuff downstairs, and cleaned the floor. We noticed some spots seemed to have black mold on them, probably from water leaks over the years. So I bought some mold killing sprays and sprayed them down.

Then I brought that luan up and called it a night. I only had 1 day left, but those activities alone had taken all the strength I had out of me. My injured back was also screaming at me.

So I laid 2 sheets of the luan down, removed the dishwasher and thought they would just lay the rest of the luan down. Boy was I wrong.

Now I’ll be spending roughly $500 more on this project, not due to what I did – but because of what my body couldn’t do. Something my soul used to love doing. My soul needs that harmony back in in some way. I just need to learn the lines of what I can and cannot do.

Thrust into the Spotlight

While annexation in Bloomington is primarily a dead issue, areas 1A and 1B were not successful in completely squashing the attempt. They did however achieve enough verified petitions for remonstrance to have the case reviewed by a judge.

I have been keeping an eye on the social media site NextDoor, where my Township Trustee typically makes her official statements. There seemed to be an outcry of people wanting to raise funds and hire an attorney to use this final tool given to them by the state.

I told her when this all began that I would do whatever I could, whenever I could. So I began a gofundme for the explicit purpose of raising those funds, based on the leadership I had been provided by my Township Trustee.

https://gofund.me/66bb55b6

I did not want to share this personally, this issue does not affect me directly. Legally I have no say in how this annexation goes as I am not being annexed. Sure I can have an opinion, and I do. I would rather leave opinions to the side however. I did feel that informing the local press might be a good idea though, so I reached out to a personal hero who was a journalist for a long time to seek guidance on writing a press release.

He gave me a extensive and amazing primer that I followed. I then sent it to 3 outlets, with another asking for it the next day.

This led to being interviewed by 3 news outlets and a journalism student that another friend decided he would sic on me. Thanks Leo.

The first thing to hit was the front page of the Herald-Times on March 8th, 2022.

Then, on Friday March 11th I was on WFIU and WTIU (our local PBS affiliate). They used an audio clip of me and a video clip.

Meanwhile, it appeared to me that the wind that was in the sails from the people I looked to in this entire situation had to step aside. I’m no politician and I will never understand the games they play.

I felt a large responsibility to all of those who had donated. With the help of some volunteers upwards of 30 attorneys were called. Most of which have either not returned calls or stated that they had a “conflict of interest.” The lawyer I was originally told was going to take the case had to step down for similar reasons, and another I had spoken with was relying upon a local attorney to file the case before he would become involved. There is one local attorney that several referred me to, but I have still not received any communications from him. He is apparently “the” guy for this exact situation.

If you were paying close attention to the video clip, you will notice the County Residents Against Annexation sign. I had seen them in some of the more influential and better off areas of the county, but not mine. We had our own signs. It soon become clear that they were some sort of power as people would cite them as they stated they could not longer help with this effort.

Nevertheless I persisted.

I had a phone call with the president of CRAA, who introduced herself to me by boasting about accomplishments and listing “things” she had done, overall trying to somehow impress me. It only did the opposite. She then crossed the boundary, she asked that I give them all of the funds raised in the gofundme.

I have since received several negative messages about this organization through the gofundme. I’ve received many messages from it, I have responded to most of them in kind.

CRAA from what I know has not focused on the area I live near, but the areas ripe with cash and/or retirees. I do not know them from Adam nor will I speak on behalf of them.

I will however work with them (as difficult as it has been at times) to complete the mission, to let the residents use all tools legally available to them to stop this over reaching annexation by the city of Bloomington. An action that is really tantamount to a tax heist. When looking at the balance sheet, across the board the only org with a positive change are the city’s coffers. Even the public schools and county library will lose money. For me, that’s a non-starter.

I have not hidden behind an organization, I have used my name. In the end when dealing with community issues that is akin to putting it all on the line. The only way to be is to be honorable and moral. If I didn’t follow the will of my community members, I can literally see a “torches and pitchforks” situation occurring.

This has definitely been a very interesting experience in local political theater, reaffirming why my feelings of anarchy run deep to my core. My love for my immediate neighbors however will never fail or falter.

I’m Tired Boss

I’m writing this blog post early on a Saturday morning while I give technology assistance for a series of talks being given by pediatric healthcare professionals, one of which being my own pediatrician who was also the pediatrician for my own daughters.

The first part of the week was extremely difficult on my body, still primarily in significant amounts of pain from my still not completely but partially diagnosed problem. The department I work for remodeled two office spaces. While they hired moving and setups to move the equipment out, they wanted me to move it all back. Sigh.

So I got to work on Monday, and spent most of the week ensuring it was all done. That said, in their grand plan they didn’t consider the infrastructure that was also needed to be moved during this remodel. Since I wasn’t even consulted about any of this, a new and ever increasing trend, I am going to let them lay in the bed they made. I had to run a cable across one room so a computer would have network access.

A office, created from what was open space

Then, the real bang for the week. I seem to have become a “figure” in the county’s continued fight against Annexation by the city of Bloomington, which I have written about before:
https://lee-lawmaster.com/no/
https://lee-lawmaster.com/a-nail-in-the-coffin/

My township trustee typically places her official communications to community members on the social media site NextDoor. On one post in particular, many were asking about how we can take the next (and final step) in fighting annexation, taking our case to court as we are allowed to by law. I use the word “we” metaphorically as I am not a member of any areas that are being annexed. Several asked about the creation of a go-fund-me as a common place to donate funds to hire counsel and get the process started.

This is when my “man of action” senses took over, and I made one. I then told all in that thread about it, providing them the link and told them to share. It has kind of blown up.

The township trustee said we would need a minimum of $10,000 to hire counsel, so I set the goal accordingly. I have heard from several in the business community who want to provide large donations as well. Per state law, if the case is sided for the remonstrators, they (members of the class to be annexed) can receive up to $37,500 back for legal fees.

Unaware of what attention this was getting, not seeing any mention of this on any other social media platforms, I reached out to a man I admire. He’s an amazing photojournalist and a self described pirate. He runs a respected news outlet locally that I try to support as much as possible, The Bloomingtonian. He asked for a press release and the wheels started spinning in my mind. I also had a phone conversation with the man that runs B Square Beacon. He said that he would put it in his daily release as a bullet point. I had never spoken or interacted with him before, it was kind of exciting.

I can barely write, now to write a structured document that you spread far and wide? HOW? So I reached out to a hero and friend of mine that knows a thing or two about press releases, Joe Nickell. In his very peculiar yet amazing way he gave me a 101 course on how to write one, including a couple of his own examples. I was off to the races.

Using Joe’s guidance, I wrote it and sent it to both places I previously mentioned plus the Herald Times, our “local” paper that has been taken over by a mega corp. Then I told my friend Michael Leonard about it, who runs The B-Town Bee and is a former long time columnist with the Herald Times. He said he would sic one of his journalism students on me, and HE DID. Gee, thanks there pal.

The Herald Times government reporter wanted to interview me, and before I knew it I was getting texts from an unknown number that was that journalism student. The reporter for the Herald Times said that they are putting a piece together for publication on Monday. The journalism student interviewed me as well, and introduced herself as being with the IDS (the IU Student newspaper) instead of being personal.

I have had almost daily calls with my township trustee as updates to the ongoing situation and feel as if I’ve become a central figure to this. I was just trying to help my neighbors, I love my neighbors and I love the area in which I grew up and live to this day.

I also received an odd email from a person representing a “news” site I had never heard of, The Lawrence County Zephyr. My youngest daughter, who lives in Lawrence county had never heard of it either. I sent him the press release and he published it.

The Gist of It

5 of 7 areas Bloomington wanted to annex received enough petitions for remonstrance to stop it, pending any litigation the city may file due to their believe that a state law that created an expiration date for utility waivers is unconstitutional. 2 of the areas received enough petitions for remonstrance to take their cases to court and be ruled by a judge.

Stolen from B Square Beacon and highly appreciated

State law states the court filing has to be done within 15 working days of the auditors released findings. Hence the rush. This is the only tool my neighbors in 1A have to use to stop this annexation from happening. We cannot leave 1B in the cold, and have been inclusive of them as well.

This annexation has been full of drama, with the state passing a law that was later ruled unconstitutional that stopped it for a few years. It’s also wide swathing with little promises for a big price.

Personally I call it a tax heist, as the tax rates for these areas will in some cases more than double, with those funds going to the city. My own tax rates will rise 26% per a county council member. Many question if any services the city promises will deliver will ever be delivered. This can also remove choice from the table for many people in these areas. The police department is under staffed and under paid, this will add to the stresses they are already facing, creating an even more hostile police force. The public school system that covers most of the county, MCCSC will also lose over 1 million dollars annually, at last I read.

Thankfully in the time period between when the first attempt was stopped and the second began, our township fire departments got together and created a Fire Protection District, which is protected from annexations. Originally the city was going to severely gut these fire departments, which are a staple in the communities they serve. A major factor in my choice to purchase a home where I did was it’s vicinity to a particular fire station.

It has required an increase in property taxes – but one I appreciate. Something the city does not exactly understand. They just put out bonds for millions of dollars and increase taxes on it’s residents to pay for it. Members of the city council have stated that they don’t listen to the people that elected them. I want nothing to do with the city, and showed as such during the first “informational” meeting they held. This meeting was just city hall full of signs, there was no actual meeting.

I Can Still Smell the Bowling Alley

Over the years, my stepmother has found odds and ends that were my dad’s. When she does, she lets me know about the items and asks me if I would like them. One time she found a bowling trophy, and I definitely wanted it.

While it was sitting on my couch, it fell off onto my carpeted floor for some reason and the pot metal figure broke. What do I do? The trophy wasn’t exactly important, but the information contained on it was to me. It documents a time and age that no longer exists.

I reached out to the Engraving & Stamp Center, which is the only place I know of locally that creates such items. The timing was bad unfortunately, as the COVID-19 Pandemic had just begun, and the climate was strange for just about anything.

I made an appointment, and we found a figurine that was almost identical to the original one. I was told I would get a call back when it was done, but didn’t hear anything back until yesterday.

It’s not a large trophy, my own baseball trophy is larger. It’s the words on the plate that matter more.

WESTINGHOUSE MIXED 82-83
HIGH GAME HDCP . -285
RICHARD

Westinghouse was the company my father worked for from 1969 until 1999 when they shut down. He was 6 months shy of receiving a full retirement when they closed, and spent the rest of his life trying to get “something” of those 30 years he spent there as an employee.

My maternal grandmother and grandfather worked there as well, with her retiring shortly before they closed, and he passing away on his job in 1988.

The name Westinghouse doesn’t mean much to most anymore, but it will always hold a special place in my heart. The income derived from the positions my family held with the company provided us with a decent life, a life that didn’t worry about where we would get our next meal, or if we would have a roof over our head.

Locally, they produced power distribution equipment, such as lightning arrestors.

My father has a different award regarding what they produced at the factory, this is more about the community that was found in the blue collar side of my home town.

They all had bowling leagues, softball leagues and I’m sure other sports leagues that included their own fields on company property and comradery that I haven’t experienced really. RCA and OTIS even had Christmas events for the children of employees, where each child got to meet Santa and receive a Chistmas present.

When I was 12, my mother was working for General Electric (one of the other large manufacturers in town, that I would eventually work for) and was playing in their softball league. She recruited me to help with her team. This was my first experience first hand with the social lives of the industrial workers in the area. I was told that I would be playing for the C-83 team, not knowing a thing about the organization of large industrial complexes, I took my cubs hat and took a square piece of paper that said 83, displaying C 83. We played a game against C-80 (the area of the plant where I would eventually work). It was a great time.

Sure, there are recreational sports leagues for all. There’s just something special when those leagues are with the people you work with. This is the Bloomington I grew up in. This is the Bloomington I miss. This is the Bloomington that made it a small town. This is the Bloomington that it seems to want to forget. This is the Bloomington I will never forget.

One Disaster Just Isn’t Enough

Of course, life had to deal me and my domicile another blow. On Tuesday I received a odd text from my girlfriend. The water pressure in my home had essentially turned into a slow drip, across my entire home.

When I made it home, I confirmed her words but then investigated a “turbulence” that could be heard in the main water pipe going about halfway through my home. That word is the best way I can describe what I heard.

Everything on the internet pointed to an issue with the water service itself, but my water company was closed. A friend who works with these things said to turn the water service off and then on again. I was going to do this, but then I got a hold of my uncle Ted.

To this day I don’t know exactly what he “does” for a living. But I know he’s closely attached to one of the water companies in the county. He painted my old motorcycle and he painted the IROC.

I called him just looking for a suggestion on who to hire to fix it, he simply stated, I’ll fix it, told me to call 811 and hung up. So I did as a good nephew should and did what he said.

The next day I called my water company, and explained the situation. They went over to my place and tested my outdoor spigots and compared it to what the meter was reading. My meter was showing an active flow rate of 29 gallons a minute. I definitely had a leak, but where? They shut the water off.

My only thought was from the drainage work I had done a couple of years ago. When they were creating the trench, they hit my water line, which required it be repaired.

On the suggestion of a friend, I reached out to the company that performed the work, to ask if they would offer any assistance. I casually mentioned that I had already contacted my uncle Ted, as the community of people that do this work is quite small. Surprisingly one of the people used to work for him. They said that they would come out on Saturday (the day I’m writing this).

My uncle Ted, and his brother Tom (my other uncle) came on Thursday evening with a mini-excavator. I didn’t know Tom was coming, so that was a happy surprise to me. While they were en-route, I decided to take a walk in my yard, to see if I could notice anything out of the ordinary that could lead to the point of the break. I sure found something odd, an almost perfectly circular hole in my yard, that was about 3 feet deep. This turned out to be the exact spot where the line broke.

They made quick work of digging a hole to where my drainage tile and water line intersected. The amount of water flow coming from that drainage tile was quite amazing, showing how well that investment paid off.

Both of my uncles believed the way the water line was sitting played a part in the original fix breaking. If I recall correctly, it was as seen in the image, and they moved it to be underneath the drain. Ted then replaced about a 3 foot section of the water line and installed a couple of compression fittings that were at least twice the size of the existing ones. I’ve never seen fittings like this in my life.

Ted then went to my water meter, and gave me a lesson in their workings. My particular meter is an older version of the meters used with his water company. It has a digital display that switches between the reading and the flow rate. I appreciated the lesson.

I opened a few faucets in the house to get any air out of the system, and then turned my water heater back on. Ted and Tom then began filling that hole back up.

I’ve never been one to lean on others to rescue me from problems, and offered them the significant amount of cash I randomly had on me at the time. Ted wanted me to reimburse him for the fittings, but neither of them would take any other payment. I’ll forever be grateful and appreciative.

I updated the company I had hired that the water leak was fixed, but that due to it there were some spots in my yard that were now damaged. They came by today and laid down some dirt. Unfortunately due to some weather we had received, it was difficult at best. They agreed to come back when the weather is a little better to add some more.

I then found out that company is related to another fork of my family. All of this has reminded me of how much of a small world this really is.

Stepping down, but not away

As I’m sure I’ve written about here, I am one of the original members of The Janeway Collective. We built a little birthplace statue in honor of a Star Trek captain who will be born in my hometown in the future.

Over the past year, I have been the President, as voted by the board. While incredibly humbled by that, I’ve never been a large fan of leadership. I still feel that I’m at that point of life where I seek out the more adult people.

Life has handed me many blows in the past few months, I’m beginning to think that a Voodoo priestess placed a hex on me. The problems didn’t really start until I returned from what can only be called an amazing vacation in New Orleans.

I have come to find that I need to let go of anything that is keeping me from my mental focus, my professional focus, and the projects that I have that are piling up has become overwhelming. Our elections are taking place right now, and I did not want to continue the role of President. I took one step further however and also stepped down from the board. I will continue in an administrative role. I will stay a member for the rest of my natural life. If I feel that I want to join the board again, I will wait until the next election cycle and let the board know.

As my last act, I sent the following email to the board. I feel that it’s proper to share here, on my personal blog.

Hello to the greater collective!

I write this message as your outgoing president. As many of you know, I am not one who seeks leadership, to the point where I actually despise it. I am one who sees problems and finds the ways to resolve said problems. It’s what I make a living doing.

After the unveiling, I saw a lot of things I did not like. I saw hopes and dreams falling by the wayside due to ego and in many cases, greed. This is not a collective, and behaviors I hope to never see again in this ever growing group. This is why I formally incorporated us, this is why I pushed to get by laws in place and get us that coveted 501c3 status.

In many ways, this is why I was voted to be president. I will always be appreciative and humbled by it.

With that, came opportunity. I got us our own Google Workspace environment, which includes many things I have seen few use. We have Amazon Smile, Kroger Community Rewards and other resources that could be used more as well.

As Peter once again takes the helm, I have a few things I must say beforehand.

Effective this evening, I will be rescinding my nomination for a seat on the board. While this project, and this group helped me survive the pandemic, other things in my life have presented themselves that I must focus on. I will remain a member for life, and I may want to be on the board again at another date.

I will remain as an administrator, unless there comes a time when the board wants to replace me with another. I have no issue executing any and all requests for updates/changes to anything. I take the word “Collective” very seriously, and always have. Is something wrong with our email, website, PayPal, etc etc? Just get a hold of me. We will fix it! I am not the one who shall not be named.

I will remain our agent on record for both the federal government and state government. A large reminder, as the year draws to a close, there is paperwork that needs to be submitted to both entities in different time frames.

I have the bust mold, the Janeway Cutout and lots of official paperwork on the formation and our official 501c3 determination paperwork as well. If it is ever decided that it should be held by another party, they are not being held hostage. Many of you know many and varied ways to contact me.

I have 0 issue in continuing the meeting on IU’s Zoom instance housed on my personal IU account. However, I feel it would be best if we move away from IU’s list system for communications in favor of the Google Group system that could be utilized. The more we stand on our own feet, the better. Our yearly expenses are under $1000 a year, which encompasses insurance, all inclusive website costs, and Quickbooks Online.

I would like to see the collective make some strategic moves financially. For example, the creation of additional accounts for our known expenses, event funds, scholarship funds, etc. Then it’s just a matter of funding them and making the mark. I don’t know if non-profits can utilize investments – but that is also a good thing to look into.

It is my wish that upon the change of officer/titled positions, a peaceful transfer of email accounts occurs. This way each office will keep the information it needs and or works with. There should be an accumulation of information, not a lack of. I will be handing this account over to Peter after our meeting this evening.

I have uploaded all usernames/passwords that are not already available to the board to the drive, sans the president, lee and admin google accounts. I have also uploaded all of the documents I created in an attempt to create a membership card, including an excel spreadsheet with a current list of our members (we have 13 right now). I will also upload all of the files I have on my computer, for the collective to use as it pleases. Many of these files are probably duplicate/triplicate of ones we already have.

Our website has an issue that needs to be attended to in a few months, and is something I have been meaning to communicate to the collective but have not. At the time we created it, we had no actual business entity. Due to this, it was all placed upon my account within the provider Namecheap. I have since moved the domain to our business account with them, but the EasyWP service cannot be transferred. It will require a purchase of a new EasyWP iteration, with an export/import of data to it from our old one. This process is not complicated or hard – but will require our website be down for a period of time.

The QR code on the informational table still needs to be changed. My best suggestion is to have Anywhere Signs create a new one and install it using epoxy. There is a Donors page (what the original one links to) on our website.

This is not a goodbye. This is a see you later. I am extremely proud that these collective groups were able to come together and accomplish such a task. The owner of the Comedy Attic named me, “The Man Who Hates Bloomington the Most” one evening in the green room (which is really green btw). I am spending more and more time away from our fair city, and it is a disservice to all of you if I cannot provide the focus I used to have. I do not know when this focus will return. I will always be with the collective in spirit, and hope I have only helped build a foundation that lasts for perpetuity, and that the dreams of scholarships for STEAM, and ways to be a beacon of equality in this world become reality.

I could write and write and write, but will end this message for now. I will see you all this evening.

LLAP,

Lee Lawmaster

President

Her Culture is Showing

A few weeks ago, my youngest daughter participated in the North Lawrence Community Schools Elementary Basketball League. Playing for the elementary she, her papaw, memaw, and great-uncle have all went to, Parkview.

I had injured my back and did not make her first two games, but I did make the rest of them. While I had seen her play basketball with the Boys & Girls Club and a church kids league, they both paled in comparison to how ugly this league was.

While the boys played pretty clean, straight ball, the girls would often go after each other. Flagrant fouls were common to the point of the meanness being as plain as day. Amelia’s role was as the center who also performed the game’s tip-off.

Just under two weeks ago was the tournament for the league. Both the girls and boys teams for Oolitic were the number one seeds. Both Parkview teams had lost one game each, and had to play twice to win.

The basketball culture in rural Indiana is foreign to me. To be able to experience it through my daughter. To see her excitement, and meet her teammates meant the world to me. I take a great sense of pride in knowing dad is looking down upon her and smiling that she is getting to grow up in his hometown, and have a childhood somewhat like his.

The tournament was at Bedford North Lawrence High School, commonly referred to as BNL. I had never been inside the building before. The atmosphere was electric, you would think a sectional or regional game was about to take place.

Amelia’s first game was against Lincoln Elementary in the secondary gym. At least one of her friends plays on that team. The game was not overtly memorable as I was sitting next to three high school age girls who’s brother was playing on the Parkview boys team, who was playing immediately before the Parkview girls. Their enthusiastic cheering for him and the team showed deep seated spirit, much like The Beach Boys sang about in, “Be True to Your School.” They provided much entertainment. I sat in a feeling of awe, torn between a smile and a tear.

When the boys game was over, they all sat on the other side of me as those sisters. This provided even more entertainment, and I got to learn a little about the boys my little girl goes to school with.

Their second game was in the main gym, against Shawswick. It was a highly defensive match. Parkview kept Shawswick under 10 points. It was insanity.

I’m extremely proud of the work Amelia and her team put in for the season and for the championship. Amelia wants to continue playing basketball, which means that I need to get my own butt in gear to help her train. Next year she advances to middle school, where she will get to take the name of another family mascot, The Stonecutters. If she does well, she’s a shoe-in for the Lady Stars at BNL, as my 2nd cousin is the athletic director. I think that would make the hearts of many in our family happy, as well as her papaw who is looking down upon her from wherever he is.

After the pomp and circumstance were over, I spoke with her coaches. I wanted to pay something forward. Something that was paid to me at that age, that has always meant the world to me.

The baseball team I played for was sponsored by a long gone restaurant called Mustards. They treated us like kings and provided us many meals on the house. I told Amelia’s coaches that these girls deserve that, and it’s all on me. I know she and a few of her teammates were all about going to Olive Garden. I gave the coaches my phone number and told them I would take care of the finances if they could get the girls together.

Our children are our future. If we show them that we are proud of them, oh the places they’ll go.

Blocked by Security

This entire website has been stripped from the entirety of the internet for a few weeks. My SSL certificate, what makes this a HTTPS website opposed to a HTTP website expired.

In my foolishness, I assumed the one I purchased would just renew the old one. I was wrong. It took me the greater part of the evening, but I finally got it resolved and this website working again.

I’ve got quite a few things to post about, thankfully I can do that again.

Culling of the Herd

In the past several months there have been some significant changes in management at Indiana University, my employer. Changes that are removing all of it’s appeals to persons like myself that rely upon it for their way of life.

There has been some controversy to the hiring of our new president, Pamela Whitten. As the trustees performed some questionable actions that resulted in her hiring. That said, I have no real evidence that any of these changes that from my point of view have become somewhat widespread are linked to her. They are however linked somewhere at the top tier of leadership at the university, it smells of it.

Over the soon to be six years I have been in this position, there have been ebbs and flows to my performance but it has never been in question. Not once. I am the defacto person that others across the state are told to come to if they have difficulties or questions. I have went on trips to other centers to take care of technology issues at the locations which do not have their own IT personnel.

Now however? It appears everything I do is wrong. Communications throughout the department have been cut. Instead of a casual atmosphere where we are all co-workers with our own specific roles, it is now tight lipped. You don’t know who is your friend and who is your foe.

In the last meeting I had with my director, he essentially told me to just shut up and do the job, with a very alpha like attitude. Not a way he and I’s conversations had ever been like before.

There is now an extremely paranoid level of knowing where I am between 7:30am and 4:00pm daily. To the point where I have to place such information, including doctors appointments, sick time or movements on campus on multiple locations electronically.

For the past few weeks, we have begun “stand up” meetings daily. Where each one of us have to discuss what we did yesterday, what we did today and if we have any roadblocks to being successful. For a few years, we have also had to submit a weekly report summarizing the tasks we accomplished. We also have a ticketing system that is integrated with most of the university. A replication and micromanagement that only again, wastes time in my opinion.

The advancement of hostilities towards me seems to only continue at a fever pace, as during my 1 on 1 meeting with my manager today, she had a person from HR in the meeting. This person primarily was just there, I’m not sure of the official reasoning, but it told me everything I needed to hear. Just the presence.

In this meeting, I was told that I say too much in my emails and communications with others, while at the same time being told that I don’t communicate enough. That I “have” to be available on Skype for Business, Microsoft Teams and Slack from 7:30am until 4:00pm Monday through Friday. That any and all reasons why I am not in the office needs to be on my calendar, which has to be shared or a departmental staff calendar. That I need to have “standard” hours going forward, something that has never been discussed.

With the issues in supply chain right now, receiving needed technology equipment, such as docking stations and monitors has been impossible at best. I was then told that I need to update people at minimum every two weeks on the status of this equipment. There are items I have been waiting 4 months on. To send 8 emails telling people “I don’t know when I will receive” your (insert thing here) seems to be micromanagement at it’s best.

After being informed of all of these wrongdoings that I did not have any knowledge about, my manager then asked me if I had any questions. I learned a very long time ago when HR is involved, the only play is to not play at all. They are not there for you, they are there for the company they represent. I was for the most part, silent during the entire meeting. I do not know if it was recorded or not.

Mind you, all of this is being instigated by our new Financial Director, who has only been at the job for 3 months. She speaks to my manager and director about all of this. Do they become supportive of me? No, it’s quite clear that this is information a person 1 pay grade lower is not privy to, even though it’s directly about him. It’s quite clear that my actual leadership does not care.

My manager then went on to tell me that while many people in my position feel “alone” that we are not, and then went on a diatribe about how since we are now a part of UITS we have more doors opened to us. While at the same time, urging me not to reach out to units like UIPO or UISO – which are units of UITS.

At the same point in time, I am dealing with a back injury. Something I have never had an issue with in my life. I have not been able to get proper healthcare partially due to the pandemic and partially due to my VNS implant. The stress of both of these has sent me into both physical and emotional turmoil.

I don’t know where life will lead me from here. I was in a place where I felt secure in the future. Right now I don’t know if I will have a job tomorrow.

These games that are being played on me by management and leadership are pushing me to both my emotional and physical limits.

I went to IU to get away from this. The real world treated me like this, while my time at IU has never been sunshine and roses I have never felt “less than” those I work with, those I support, those I look up to. I sure do now.

At the same time I am being inundated by emails from the university mentioning how important mental health care is while at the same time I am having my mental health destroyed by IU itself. Something has got to give. A coordinator and Associate Director has already resigned. The Associate Director a MD, told me she no longer felt as if her voice mattered.

Mine is directly under assault.

Pressure

It’s been a while since I’ve written, in this very public online journal of sorts that I’ve kept since 2006. A journal that has been the primary influence of improving my writing and reading skills beyond the rudimentary levels I was provided by my local public school system.

So much has changed since I last wrote. A disk in my back has decided to give me immense pain that only sleeping or laying in bed seems to resolve. A mountain of issues cropped up on my Jeep. My job has done a 180 on me, with two people resigning at this point, and I’ve had several computer jobs pop up on me.

Much like the Bowie song, I feel under pressure. Tremendous pressure.