To give props to Ice Cube, I haven’t had to use my AK because today has been a good day.
I woke myself up this morning via my alarm clock. Something I haven’t had to really do in many years, as my wife preferred to wake me up. It was nice to feel her hand touch me to let me know the morning was here, time to get ready for the day.
I’m starting to appreciate the things that I no longer have. It hurts my soul tremendously.
I came to work, and it’s been a good day so far (still have 4 hours). I have a couple of errands to run after. I’m not stressed, I’m not highly emotional. I’m in a state that’s hard to describe at best.
The best thing I can do at this point is remember the good times, and try to forget the bad ones. I’m losing the best thing that has ever happened to me. They say when one door closes another one opens. For me, this has never been true. It’s always been a situation where I’m trapped in that room until I can find a way to get out of it.
I’m trying my hardest to not be trapped. That’s what has made today a good day.
UPDATE: Of course I was being way too optimistic in my post. I ended up getting my theoretical AK out, and we had a full on argument. I think there is much built up inside the both of us, and knowing the fact that neither of us like to argue – we go all out over IM. The wise part of me knows that no healing will begin until we get those frustrations out, whatever the outcome may be.