I Had a Feeling

I knew the highs of the last few days wouldn’t continue forever, and as I suspected I was right. But you know what? It’s okay, and it will be okay. What’s meant to be will, and I should not concern myself with things I cannot control. It does no good for me or my well being.

I had a wonderful night last night at the Falling in Reverse concert with my ex fiancee. A band I wouldn’t have known about or liked if it wasn’t for her. I told her that she was my conduit for this genre of music, as it’s the truth. I always liked the contrast between our musical styles.

Before the show, I snapped this photo of us. It will probably be the last photo of us together.

Both of us have changed significantly since we started hanging out as friends in 2016. I losing hair and going grey, while she lost a large amount of weight.

The first picture I have of her and I

The show was amazing, and I’m happy I went. For a while we even had a mosh pit in front of us. There were 5 bands that played, and each one put on one hell of a performance. Especially Blackveil Brides and Falling in Reverse.

Today she messaged me that she’s working on fixing things with her new guy, and because of that we can no longer really talk or hang out. I kind of saw this coming, and I understand but am filled with sadness from it.

We had spent 3 lovely evenings together, working on repairing the damages of the past and forging a new version of a friendship. I’m thankful that I had the opportunity of those 3 evenings instead of nothing at all. One of her last texts to me read, “I’m sorry maybe one day.” I hope so too Lyndsey.

This isn’t a purely sad post however, as just as the night was filled with darkness, the girl I went on a date with on Sunday texted me. It’s as if she has a sense that some words from her would be helpful to my mood. She and I seem to be getting closer and closer in a way I’ve never felt or experienced with another. It’s exciting and a literal breath of fresh air. She’s a very busy girl, so I take all of her in while I can. Our next date is planned for this Saturday, a Luau. I cannot wait, and from what it seems like, neither can she.

The future is bright, I just have to keep seizing opportunities as they come.

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