Dr. Seuss Ate My Wallet

Not literally, but in a way. In actuality, an alligator did. But I’ll get to that later.

After our day at the museum, we got organized and made some plans we both couldn’t cancel and had hard timelines on. We were to have a day split with time in the French Quarter and on a Swamp Tour, something a friend of mine had told me many times to do.

Since I had been to the French Quarter before, and we had some tight timelines, I decided it would be best to drive and park in the French Quarter. I found us a parking garage we could park in that was just a block away from Jackson Square, and pre-paid. We had this block of time, there was no going back. We decided that we were going to split up, each parent with their child. Go do things we wanted to do. But there was a slight hiccup, Lyndsey left her phone at the house, something we didn’t realize until we got there. To go back we would lose about an hour of time, so to hell with it.

Amelia and I instantly went to our place, Stanley. I didn’t get the picturesque photo that I got last time, but it’ll do.

We had our breakfast, and were on our way. When we came in 2019, we really didn’t do much. So we explored the French Quarter as much as we could. Stopping at many of the gift shops along the way. Google maps wasn’t of much help, as it kept changing orientation on me. So we made some disorganized criss cross motions around the southern end of the place.

We stopped at the Museum of Death, which was cool but nothing awe inspiring in my opinion. They do have David Koresh’s band shirt, which is pretty cool.

We then made our way to The Art of Dr. Seuss, part of the Angela King Gallery. It was a small space, but my eyes were in heaven. They had lots of pieces that I found highly interesting, but one stood above the rest. I found it curious as it had no price tag on it. It was from my favorite Seuss book, “Green Eggs & Ham.” I had to ask, I had to prod.

“Would you? Could You? In a Car?” Arabian Edition

It was apparently the only copy remaining for sale. I was told that any works where duplicates were made are all done in limited copies. The price they gave was something I could handle, and so I bought it. I had it shipped to my home, just receiving it a few days ago.

By this time, we were both getting hot and we needed some hydration. Trying to find a place where you and your underage daughter can sit down and drink something non-alcoholic in the French Quarter isn’t an easy task, but I found a Oyster Bar on Royal street that let me do just that. Amelia had water and Sprite while I had water and a Hurricane, because why not?

I then started getting messages from Lyndsey, via her watch. She kept telling me where she was, but I was not getting cross streets to get a proper location. It appeared that her and Kira had went the polar opposite direction as Amelia and I did. After some back and forth, I settled up and we made our way to find them. When I reached them, they were both hot, thirsty and hungry. I wanted to go to the Hard Rock Cafe earlier, but knew they were closed. So I thought we’d stop by there, grab some grub and then head to our next destination. By the time we made it there, we discovered that they didn’t serve food until 4pm.

So I decided we would cut our losses and get out of dodge, with the traffic in the quarter – we were pushing making it to our swamp tour. We drove to the nearest place everyone could agree on and/or eat at. I just drank copious amounts of fluids to re-hydrate myself.

We made it to the location of our swamp tour just in time. After getting our wristbands, we sat and waited until the boats were ready. Something had happened to the boat we were originally scheduled to use, which bothered Lyndsey, as the boat we were on was a little larger than the one we were to be on.

Our Boat

There were many warnings about either locking things in your car, or making sure they are zippered, as items have been known to get lost on these tours. We were going along, having a blast. We would stop in locations and our guide would throw out marshmallows and hotdogs. The alligators faces would soften up, and act like puppies that were trying to steal food from the table. It was adorable.

He then popped out a little stowaway, a baby alligator. Lyndsey felt like she was in heaven, and Amelia smiled – which is rare anymore. I refrained, but relished in their happiness.

Recall what I mentioned about things being lost? I had put everything but my wallet inside a zippered pocket of my shorts. Through all of the bumps and hits that you get on an airboat, my wallet slowly but surely slipped out of my back pocket. While we were sitting still, there was a noise on my side of the boat. Someone stated they thought it was a fish jumping out of the water, then someone else said, “no it’s that guys wallet.” I happened to be “that” guy. Just then, a large alligator came to the boat, coming right up to me.

Everyone thinks that gator ate my wallet. Our guide told me that the wallet was in about 5 feet of water, and that if he felt like there was a chance to retrieve it, he would have. He kept apologizing to me, but there wasn’t much that could be done. Sure, it dampened my spirits but there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to proceed forward and enjoy things as best I could.

I had fun on the swamp tour, but spent the rest of the time trying to figure out how I would get my credit cards, ID and other items I keep in my wallet back. This created a real situation for us the next day as I had booked us a hotel room in Panama City Beach so I could see a friend who had moved away.

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