Last week something pretty awesome happened, my oldest child turned twenty one.
Her mother and I were young when she was born. I blame it on kids who weren’t using their minds. Regardless, we’ve loved her from the beginning. I had more difficulty along this journey. I always felt like she was mature as I was.
Her mother and I split up early in her life, I was going through some of the heaviest things I had dealt with up to that point, causing me to be just another child for her to deal with. We sometimes bicker, we sometimes fight, but it’s always been about her interest.
Over the years, she did what a kid does, she grew. The time was passing by and I didn’t even know it. Had I known, I would have taken those opportunities to do so much. I was in a semi-permanent state of exhaustion just trying to keep the lights on.
She often talks about how one of her happy memories of childhood is when I would play barbies with her. She would put Barbie into a situation where she needed rescued, and I would turn Ken into Superman. He would fly up and rescue the damsel in distress.
As the child became the teenager, that closeness disappeared. In many ways, it’s the circle of life. I was just starting to get a grasp on how to be a father. She went off and did her teenage things, and I took those lessons she gave me to provide the things I should have for her, to her sister.
The day she was born, I had my mom buy a bottle of Jack Daniels (I was too young). To be held onto until her 21st birthday, when her mom, I and her would celebrate this accomplishment. I feel that modern society doesn’t give our children any real rites of passage through their journey to adulthood.
Some get graduation or commencement ceremonies for each level of school (I didn’t). Some get parties for these things, I didn’t. I wanted to ensure my children knew and had the depth of thought about their father holding onto something for 21 years, just to share it with them.
I was happy to share my home for people from all over to come celebrate her graduating high school. It filled my heart for this experience however.
The next day, I took her out to dinner in her papaw’s Camaro. I had driven her around the neighborhood, but she had never properly rode in it before in her life. I think that ride showed her why it’s special to me, and why I want it to stay in the family.
Here’s to adulthood, and all the responsibilities contained in it. Life is a complete mess for all of us right now, but we will always have each other. I love you kiddo, and always will. Through the ups and downs life throws us, we need people we can depend upon and I’ve always tried to be just that for you. Ol’ dad will always have your back, without question.
My goal in life is to see you succeed where your dad never could. I’ll do just about anything to help you do that, but like my father before me I won’t dictate your vision for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.