Many don’t understand my taste in music, and never will. I’m fine with that.
Friday night, Lyndsey and I saw the Smashing Pumpkins. A group that gained notoriety in my pre-teen days. It wasn’t until my later teens that I became curious, and later, enthralled. Primarily due to a couple of girls I had an interest in singing the lyrics while on the bus to high school.
With songs ranging from “Today” that is sweet sounding and generally a happy tune, to “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” which explains the human rat race in a post apocalyptic world, their lyrics run the spectrum. Their gritty guitars and electro synth stylings are quite literally music to my ears.
I was nervous about this concert, as Lyndsey has some serious mobility issues. Our seats were right off the floor – but I knew she would have to do a tremendous amount of walking. It wasn’t too bad on her, she was a trooper. Due to her issues, the ushers advised us to take a different exit. Instead of going out where everyone else does. We got a little bit of a backstage tour. One that was closely guarded so we had no opportunity or way to go venturing.
I was disappointed that the group isn’t whole, as they have continued without their original bassist, but sometimes that’s the way life goes. Billy Corgan has received a lot of flak over his political views, which I honestly do not care about. He was a professional and didn’t use his band to continue those views while on stage.
It was an enjoyable evening on this year, the year of concerts for me. So far there have been three. One of which, the Foo Fighters, I was unable to attend. I have one more left. Alabama with Travis Tritt. Two acts I never thought I’d be able to see.
August thirteenth. For many, it’s just a normal day. Some years, it’s the dreaded “Friday the 13th.” But for me, it’s my father’s birthday. A day of eternal celebration. Sixty seven years ago, my father was born, at a soon to be decommissioned hospital where me and my children were also born.
That’s me, and that car is only a couple of years old.
From the beginning of my memories, he was my hero. My dad and I were like peanut butter and jelly. Good by ourselves but better together.
I only regret the times that in hindsight I could have spent more time with him but didn’t due to “marital obligations.”
I’m only thankful that his passing has given me guidance on what is important in life, and those are the ones you have, the ones you love.
I have almost every one of his worldly possessions. Some of which are valuable, some of which are not. His clothes are being transformed into quilts for me and his granddaughters. His vehicles are at my house. The thousands of pictures and video he shot over his lifetime are in the process of being digitized. I just need to find a good way to share them with the family – for input on who/what/where regarding a lot of them.
1968. It was a big year in the United States. I only know of it from second and third hand accounts, due to being born in 1980. Little did I know however, how important the events of that year and the sixties in general were to my fathers worldview.
A few months ago, the newspaper from the town my father grew up in said they were looking for him or his ancestors. He had placed something in a time capsule that would be opened. How exciting! Why did he never tell me of this thing?
That day was the start of 3rd grade for my youngest daughter. As soon as I got her contact information, I emailed her explaining the importance of this event to our family and that I would be taking her from school early to attend. My oldest daughter is out of school, but working. She got permission to leave work early to attend as well. I wanted them to be present.
The small meeting room, where the time capsule would be opened was over crowded. The three of us crawled onto the floor and kneeled on the floor between aisles to see it be opened. The event was also live streamed on Facebook.
The tears started flowing as soon as dad’s envelope was called out, with my youngest daughter handing the envelope to my oldest. We left the room to get some space. We were then video taped as I read the letter. I tried but couldn’t keep composure of the words a sixteen year old version of my father wrote.
The contents of the envelope were a typed letter, two newspaper clippings and a post card. I came to tears when I saw the post card. Whenever I would travel anywhere – he would say the phrase “send me a postcard.” Which I did, often.
The newspaper clippings were from both of the assassinated Kennedy brothers, lying in state. His letter primarily spoke of the Kennedy’s. I’m attaching a scan of that letter for the world to see. My daughters and I are continuing this trend, and will be adding something to a new time capsule to be opened in 2068. We will see if I make it. Dad’s letter closes with “see you in 2018.” It broke my heart, and brought my oldest daughter to tears, as he didn’t get to see us.
The loss of him from our lives still breaks our hearts, and forever will.
This summer has been a hard one on me, for a multitude of reasons. Reasons I will outline below.
Work
There have been some changes to my work environment. The director that hired me had to step down and officially become an emeritus due to policies I don’t exactly understand. The new “interim” director isn’t exactly as social or open, and it has the staff and faculty mighty concerned. For instance, he has requested several things that I should have been in the loop on, but I’ve found out third hand about them. We will carry on, but it’s a time of a lot of unknowns. I’m not a fan of unknown.
Fortunately I work for a different department technically, so he does not have the capability to fire me, or even discipline me. But these are my people, and I will stick up for them with everything of my being. It’s who I am professionally.
Vacation
The girlfriend had planned a vacation for all of us, and I left the details up to her this time. It seemed like a fun time, but quickly turned into a nightmare. We went to Williamsburg, KY. They have a waterpark there. What caught my eye was that the fee to get in was only $2 more than it was to get into the local city pool. Attached to the waterpark is a campground. We were all going to camp there for three days, go to the waterpark and try to visit any other sights in the area that weren’t too far away.
When originally planning and booking the site, the weather was supposed to be comfortable, it turned out to be the opposite. We had absolutely 0 shade at our camp site. The tent camp sites were relegated to an area around the “backwash” of the waterpark. It seemed very 3rd class.
Our Campsite
After a day at the waterpark, I got the worst sunburn I’ve ever had in my life. With the combination of the heat and humidity, it felt like it was at least 110 degrees. I was done. My anger and frustrations at this situation couldn’t take anymore.
So I sat in my vehicle with the air conditioning on most of the day. Later, I took a couple of the kids with me, and we drove to wherever. Eventually making it to Chatanooga, TN and turning back around. Me and her got into a fight. For some reason she thought I was going to leave her and her kids there, five hours away from home without a way back home. Did I think about it? Yes. But I could never do something like that.
We ended up staying for the Independence Day fireworks and leaving immediately afterwards. I told her things would be different after this. I needed peace, I require peace.
The next weekend, I took my daughter on a trip she deserved. It was short but sweet. We went to Abraham Lincoln’s birthplace, then went over to The Biltmore Estate. Something her mom and I did 13 years prior, we even stayed in the same hotel.
Lincoln’s BirthplaceBiltmore
The Bathroom
We get home, and my main bathtub faucet wouldn’t stop dripping. This remodel that I had been putting off for 12 years decided for me that it must be done now.
I have 3 bathrooms in my house, and this one has for the most part remained untouched since I purchased my home in 2006. I knew it would need a complete gut, and I wasn’t prepared for the expense. There was mold that would keep coming back. This told me that it was in the wall.
So, after taking essentially two vacations – I am now knee deep in a bathroom renovation.
I have removed the tub surround, purchased a new one (that was just delivered to the store today), had my tub refinished and purchased a new tub faucet.
Now it’s just a matter of installation, and that disaster will be over with partially. Once I get some of these debts paid off, I’m going to complete the rest of the renovation.
Divorce, it’s an ugly word. It brings out the worst in everything involved. The people and the government. Fathers of children are typically taken for everything they have or are attached to, and mothers are given sainthood.
Well, that didn’t happen here. I wasn’t about to let it happen either.
All she wanted to do was run away and start a new life with someone new. This left the house. As I said in my previous post, at the time – I didn’t make enough money to even consider making the mortgage payment, which was $960 a month at the time due to her mismanaging of our finances. That was literally my entire net income.
She wanted to give it back to the bank in a short sale, but agreed to let me try to save it. I knew that I couldn’t afford to rent an apartment, and I knew that I would have to get a room mate if I got an apartment. So why not use this asset of mine for my own gain? Right?
As soon as I could, I put an ad up on Craigslist and all other sites trying to find a room mate. My area has a problem with rentals, as they are typically priced to a point of luxury. I’m not trying to make any money here, just trying to survive myself. What I charge for rent basically pays the utilities.
I also refinanced the house. I didn’t want to, but needed to for two reasons. To get my ex wife’s name off of the mortgage, and to make that payment lower. It set me back a decade, but now it is mine.
It all started with phone calls and emails. I would get calls with nobody on the other end of the line, and emails with nothing in them, not even a subject line. It was constant, it was nagging and it was frustrating.
Once I was able to actually communicate with this person, he ended up being the best room mate a guy could have. He was originally from the area but had lived a life of adventure, traveling the famous trails of our country. He had to come back to town to take care of things due to the death of his father, needing a place to stay for a few months.
He kept his area clean, and would even clean the entire house! I loved that guy. When he told me that he was done here and going to pack his bags to move in with his brother in Bozeman Montana, I was a little heart broken.
I then got another room mate, this time a female. For a period of a couple of months they were both in my house at the same time. This is when I learned that more than 1 room mate just doesn’t work well. Too many people.
She is the polar opposite of Tony, on the level of hoarder. I try to do my best to have more of a friendship than straight up business relationship with my room mates, to weed out people I would not be comfortable living with. I will be more cautious with the next one.
A few months ago, her mother passed away and left her the entire estate, including a home. She is currently working on fixing it up and will be moving out when she is ready. So the search will be on again for a person to help me sustain my home.
